Among the hubbub of Valentine’s Day and all things red, pink and lovey-dovey, many find themselves in a state of frustration, lust and feeling “forever alone.” The holiday serves as a socially designated day in which we reaffirm the love we have for a significant other. While it is fun and conventional to dedicate this day to special, romantic dates with your boo, it is important to remember that a day like this can be more than showering someone with flowers and gifts. For obvious reasons, Valentine’s Day is notorious for intimacy and affection, causing people to believe the false notion that intimacy is simply something shared between lovers – solely a sense of sensuality if you will.
Though it may be difficult to wrap your head around this concept while perusing through Target aisles of fluffy bears and various merchandise in the form of lips, kisses and hearts, when it comes down to the definition, intimacy is “a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.” This leads me to my next point: you can use this day to reflect on other forms of intimacy besides that felt among sexy lace, rose petals and candles. Remind yourself that love comes in all forms.
Writing and receiving handwritten letters
Although notes in pen or pencil seem to have lost their prevalence, by no means have they lost their art or value. While you can write the same message to someone via email or Facebook as you would in a handwritten card, who is to say that you did not just copy and paste the text? To me, a handwritten letter is one of the most intimate forms of communication you can have with someone because it was written for that person and that person only. It shows that you took the time to sit down and carefully craft something personal. Handwriting is also an expression of one’s own individuality, so receiving a letter from a friend or family member is like getting a fingerprint in the mail but only for you. A personal form like this cannot be matched. Next time you want to thank someone, wish him or her a happy birthday or simply reach out to catch up, grab a pen, a piece of paper and a stamp and scribble away.
Spending time with your closest friends
We tend to adhere to our friends on this particular day to watch sappy romantic comedies while drowning ourselves in Kit Kats and Moscato, so I believe that this one is a given. Never underestimate the importance of remembering to love and appreciate your friends. Besides your family, these are the people who truly know you to the core. Many have stuck around long enough to see your strengths and imperfections, to see you through your heartbreaks and all. Perhaps a friendship is the most intimate relationship of them all. Misery loves company, right?
The airport
Clearly, taking someone or picking someone up from the airport is not an everyday affair, but when the occasion does present itself, it is quite an intimate one. Most people do not ask just anyone to take them to the airport. After a flight of two or maybe even twelve hours, many seek a friendly and familiar face to pick them up at the gate to welcome them home. After all, you know how the saying goes: “Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls.”
Coffee shop date
The environment of a coffee shop, whether that be in a Starbucks or your favorite local café, is incredibly intimate. I mean, it has actually progressed into its own genre of music. I find that the atmosphere in a coffee shop is incredibly warm, calming and inviting. A collection of people in the same room are all reading, writing, meeting up with those that they have not seen in a while, all while sharing in the same passion for the art of java and its cordiality that brings humanity together. The way we all customize our coffee and take it so personally is quite amazing. If you are like me and frequent a specific shop, you have established rapport with a barista or two and have a “usual.” These baristas engage with countless customers on the daily, but there is something so intimate about the fact that they can put a specific order to your face or voice. “One iced dirty chai latte with soy milk, please! But you already knew that.”
Concerts
Ah, concerts—my favorite financial investments. Anyone who has seen a band or artist perform live can attest to the fact that there is nothing like it. The pure joy and energy felt in the hall or arena is bone chilling and contagious. When you look around, you might find people of all demographics, backgrounds and styles, but you are all there for one common bond and that bond is music. All of these people have been moved by the same songs and lyrics and decided to spend those two to three hours of their lives in that venue alongside you.
Books
When an author writes a novel, he or she is not entirely sure who is going to pick it up. Books, in my opinion, are incredibly intimate because you can tell so much about a person by the way that he or she writes—this applies especially to poetry books. As the reader, you are stepping into the writer’s mind and reading textual forms of his or her emotions and subconscious, as well as living vicariously through the words on the pages. Often times, you will be reading a text and resonate with the words and realize that you are not alone in whatever you have been feeling or experiencing. This brings you that much closer to a fellow human being that you have never once met before.
Time to yourself
Sometimes there is a stigma associated with people that spend time doing things on their own, deeming them introverted or antisocial. However, I believe that in order to be the best version of yourself, you must attempt to get to know a lot about yourself, and that is done through setting aside alone time. You can have intimacy with yourself, wrapped up in the warmth of your own thoughts. Alone time can be spent at the gym, at the beach, in a coffee shop, in a library or on a stroll through nature with earbuds in. It comes down to just you and yourself, and it cannot get more intimate than that.
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