Black Celebrity Couples That Have Shaped the Way I Think About Love

Is there a blueprint for love? Maybe. Maybe not. But I really, really hope there is. Having an idealist view on relationships in the age of “Netflix and chill” and situation-ships can be tricky to find out what you do and don’t want for your romantic life. As a college-aged woman, time is on my side. So, in the meantime, I’ll be on a hunt for the ingredients to being in a lasting and fulfilling relationship. Particularly a successful black relationship. Why? Just because this type of love is special and resilient. There is a rich and inspiring history behind black love. Black love is what fuels me. Having examples of strong black women loving strong men has been pivotal in my growing understanding of what it means to love somebody else. So, here’s to the celebrity couples whose love is thriving in the media’s limelight.

Alexa, play Beauty Marks by Ciara. If you’ve ever listened to Ciara’s album, Beauty Marks then you probably have a pretty good idea about the emotional journey that Ciara had to go through before she met the man that was meant for her. Ciara’s pain and mistrust were made very public and so was her process of turning pain into “beauty marks”. She showed us that you have to be a strong black woman before you get into a strong black relationship. Yes, there was a prayer involved too. In an interview with Angie Martinez, Ciara revealed exactly what she asked for. Ciara says “I prayed for a God-fearing man. I prayed for discernment. I prayed for wisdom, to really learn from the wisdom that I’m gaining from the experience that I’m going through. I prayed for a man that loved kids, because, obviously me having my son, if you’re gonna love me you’ve gotta love him. I prayed for a man that was worldly as well. Because I love to explore. So, someone that was gonna edify my world, that was important to me. I was ready to level up!” Ciara knew she had to be patient with her love journey. In an episode of Red Table Talk, Ciara revealed that having that image or that prayer of how she wanted to be loved gave her clarity and that clarity was a crucial part in guiding Ciara to her person.

I love, love and the reason why Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith inspire my views on love is that their love is so strong that it is reflected through their kids. Going on 22 years of being together, these two have always kept it real in the Hollywood spotlight. They’ve been together so long and have weathered countless divorce rumors that they are like the goofy uncle and classy aunt of black culture. At the core of their unique union, though, is friendship. Their friendship carries them through everything that they do together. They have each other’s backs in most everything that they do, career-wise and also within the Smith’s house. The numerous lessons of their journey together are more clearly revealed in the red table talk series titled Becoming Mr. and Mrs. Smith where they share a lot, including the not so pretty details of their relationship.

For Gabrielle Union, her perfect man did not appear as the exact kind of man she had in mind. In fact, she almost passed Dwayne Wade up. She has shared that “When I met Dwyane, his “résumé” looked like crap: athlete, going through a divorce, nine years younger than me. None of that screamed, ‘Let’s have a lasting relationship.’” She had to forget her “type” in order to grow with Dwayne Wade and eventually realize that he is her one. Of course, their journey has not been a perfect one. Gabrielle has openly shared her challenges with fertility and their journey together with surrogacy. They have had their share of trials and brief splits. Gabrielle’s fierceness through it all highlights the importance of staying true to yourself. It is dangerously easy to lose yourself in a relationship. According to Gabrielle, “You just have to be very clear about what you want and what you need. More than anything, my rule is to be incredibly honest.”

At the end of it all, these strong examples of black relationship are meant to provide inspiration and understanding of the meaning of black love, flaws and all. To me, they serve as a reminder of the resiliency of black love and the importance of having this kind of love, especially as a black woman beginning to navigate the sometimes complex world of relationships.

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