We’ve all heard the stories about living in FSU’s Salley Hall, from the trauma bonds between residents to the unreliable elevators and downright atrocious blue walls. I wish I could say this article debunks the questionable “Salley Experience,” but it doesn’t. As a Salley survivor, here are some of my experiences from living in the dorm during my freshman year that keep me up at night, even in the comfort of my new apartment.
- Peanut BUtter Bandit
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Starting off strong with one of the weirdest situations that I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. One alleged Salley resident smeared peanut butter all over the elevator walls and signed off (in peanut butter, of course) as “PB Bandit.” I feel bad for the students with nut allergies who were forced to take the stairs for a few days, but even worse for whoever had to clean that mess up.
- Sprinkler Situation
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On my way back to the dorm after a late-night study session at Strozier, there was a firetruck and ambulance parked on the street with sirens blaring and all. Obviously, I was a little put off by this scene and swiped in at the back door in an attempt to mind my business.
That was until the elevator doors opened, and out walked two firefighters and a student completely drenched in water. One of them gave me a small wave before they walked out of the dorm like this was perfectly normal. The only logical explanation for this was probably an issue with the sprinklers, but it truly bothers me to this day that I never knew what happened that night.
- Drama on Floor Four
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One morning, as I was getting ready for class, I heard some commotion outside my door. For reference, my room was right across the elevators, which made eavesdropping a breeze!
I looked out of the peephole and saw one of the maintenance employees pacing the floor and hashing it out with somebody over the phone. And when I say hashing, I mean there were some very intense words exchanged. From what I heard, they were breaking up, and apparently, there was a third party involved. Talk about a scandal! It did make the wait for the elevator a bit awkward, though.
- Salley Screamers
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If there was one thing I could rely on while living in Salley, it definitely was not the laundry room. Instead, it was the person (or persons, who knows) who made it a point to scream from the elevators every few nights. As bizarre as it sounds, there was someone who would just yell as the elevator took them up the floors. It became such a normal instance that it was almost weird not to hear it at night.
Adjacent to the Salley screamers was the one time a group of people collectively cried bloody murder on my floor around 2 a.m. Despite my initial concern, I fell right back asleep and lived to tell the tale.
- The Laundry Room
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I don’t want to spread rumors, but there is something sinister about the Salley West laundry room. It was my personal version of purgatory. If I didn’t wake up at the crack of dawn to do my laundry, it was going to be a terrible time.
It’s probably important to mention that out of eight floors, we only had three (on a good day) working dryers. I genuinely have nightmares about the broken dryer that took six cycles to even relatively dry my clothes. The looks people gave me when I had to explain that I couldn’t give up the dryer because my clothes were still wet haunt me to this day.
Getting assigned to Salley Hall may seem like the end of the world at first, but just think of all the new stories you’ll be able to tell when the year is over! It may not be conventional, but it sure is fun!
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