I’m sitting in front of my laptop and my hands shake. Not just a little quiver, but a tremor to the point that I’ve mistyped my name.
I triple-checked the details. Is my name right? Do I have the diploma shipped to my home address, not my Tallahassee address? That part tricks me because I still feel like the home address should be my address here at school. The place where my friends have become my family is my home away from home. I glance across all the details and hit submit. “Congratulations, your application for spring graduation has been submitted.” I’m excited but also scared, and I have this weird bittersweet feeling because graduation and the omnipresent future are looming. For all my seniors who will be walking across the stage this spring, you’re probably feeling this trifecta of emotions.
On the one hand, I’m excited for the opportunities to come. I’m a little excited when I realize I don’t know where I’ll be in a year (and quite frankly, life could take me anywhere). Then reality sets in: Oh, I could be anywhere in the next year. After going through these first two stages of my graduation emotion trifecta, I hit the brick wall, which is the third stage: bittersweetness. Let’s face it: that clock is ticking. While I don’t want to count all my Fridays until I graduate (16), those Fridays will eventually be down to zero. The weekdays too. Soon every Monday where I feel bummed out that the weekend is over will be zero, and I won’t get to find enjoyment in complaining about how much homework I have.
Soon, it’ll all fade into my memories. And with that thought, I wonder, “Am I making this count?”
I’ve found this little voice in my brain that won’t stop worrying about numbers, time, and whether I’ll forget everything. So, here’s my plan:
It’s time to have a “yes” semester. The rules are simple. I’ve started to say yes. Yes, I am taking a tennis class even though I don’t have an ounce of hand-eye coordination. Yes, when my roommate asks if I want to go on an ice cream run at midnight on Tuesday even though it’s freezing out. Yes to the little things.
I’ve found that these little experiences I’ve said yes to are not only fun, and I’m glad I didn’t miss out on them, but they also help me remember the smaller details of my life. The ones that I’m worried about forgetting when I start counting, planning, and wondering what my life will be like once I am no longer at FSU.
This idea isn’t new, and I’m not calling myself revolutionary for writing about it. Plenty of people have talked about broadening your horizons by saying yes to more. So many people recommend this, but usually, it’s crazy expensive and crazy big things. Sometimes, this narrative can be a little scary. If you’re terrified of heights, I wouldn’t recommend sky diving because you’re “saying yes.” If that’s your goal, that’s great for you. But I’m just trying to make the most of my final semester in little ways!
College is filled with so many precious memories. Memories that, once we’re old with graying hair, we’ll reminisce on and think back on the “good ol’ days.” I’m saying yes to all the little things I might forget once I’m in the next stages of my life.
Yes to running outside to catch the last glimpses of the sunset over my college town. Before, I probably wouldn’t have noticed all the vibrant oranges and rich pinks from my bedroom window. Yes, I am staying up a little later because my roommate and I have been binge-watching a show on Netflix.
When I say yes to this, I’ll look back on the memory and realize that it wasn’t the show that was all that good, but it was being able to sit, laugh together, and mostly just talk throughout it. Yes to drive two hours to the beach. Even though it’s freezing and I can’t get in the water, I’ll remember the time my friends and I made that ridiculous drive, laughing the whole way and having to bundle up in blankets and hoodies on the cold sand.
When I catch myself counting the days, worrying that everything will fade to pictures, I say yes a little more. I’ve found that the more I say yes to sunsets, ice cream, running in the rain, staying up a little later, and going to random events my friends want to go to, I’m laughing more, enjoying more, living more, and ultimately creating memories that I’ll cherish forever.
Want to see more HCFSU? Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Pinterest!