If you’re anything like me, you went to see Emma Seligman’s second feature film Bottoms in theaters and were floored by how good it was. Sure, I knew it would be good, but I seriously underestimated how much a movie about a lesbian fight club was going to send me spiraling into frantic fangirl mode. Aside from obsessing over media, my other core personality trait is that I lived on campus freshman year… and at least half of my personality still revolves around my freshman dorm.
And so, here is my absolutely 100% correct list of which character from Bottoms corresponds to each Florida State University (FSU) freshman dorm. You know, in case you were wondering.
PJ as Salley Hall
I hope, as a Salley Survivor myself, that I don’t seem biased when I say this, but PJ is the definition of Salley Hall. She’s snarky, and rough around the edges, but has a good heart. She’s also the one who convinces Josie and the others to form the fight club. That’s 100% Salley Hall behavior.
Josie as Dorman/Deviney
Something about Dorman and Deviney screams mischief and mayhem to me. These sister dorms just scream socially awkward girl meets chaos-gremlin, a sentiment everyone I know who lived there has agreed with. I’ve heard these dorms are one of the most fun places to live, which I think fits Josie. Plus, putting Josie as these dorms puts her in a perfect spot to be close to the apple of her eye, who may or may not be the next dorm on this list.
Isabel as Azalea
Azalea is largely considered the best dorm to be in as a freshman on campus. This dorm was built in 2017, has a great location on campus, and has a dining center attached to the building itself. I’m just saying that if I had lived here freshman year, I would’ve been unstoppable, much like Isabel is in the second half of this movie. There is no one better suited to be this dorm.
Brittany as Magnolia
I think most people would agree with me when I describe Magnolia as Azalea Lite, which makes Brittany the perfect choice for this dorm, considering she herself says that she goes wherever Isabel goes. The dorm is still great, though. One of the best on campus! Just… not as good as Azalea.
Hazel as Jennie Murphree
I cannot think of a single dorm that’s a better fit for Hazel than Jennie Murphree. I feel like we don’t hear anything about this dorm but somehow everyone I know who got a room reassignment was reassigned to this building? I honestly can’t explain the reasons, but the vibes just make sense. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll understand.
Mr. G as DeGraff
Mr. G could survive walking through the scary tunnel to get to campus from DeGraff. You know the one I mean. That’s reason enough.
Sylvie as Cawthon
Cawthon is haunted. I described Sylvie to everyone I know as a “feral chaos-gremlin child.” It just makes sense.
Annie as Landis
Landis is the perfect central location on campus. And, considering it’s the honors dorm, I think it’s a great spot for the smartest person in the fight club. Truly the brains of the group.
Stella-Rebecca as Bryan
Stella-Rebecca ends the movie by realizing some fun new things about her sexuality. I think putting her in the dorm that houses the Exploration and Discovery Learning Community was a pretty big stroke of genius on my part.
Jeff as Wildwood
He plays football so we’re relegating him to the dorm near the stadium. Enough said.
Tim as Gilchrist
Gilchrist basically has all the cool features of Landis but is a little more underground, making it the perfect spot for Tim to hide out and report back to Jeff about what all the girls are doing, and what’s taking attention away from the football team.
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