The media trend we all know and love: a fun little take on something you like in the pop culture world and how it’s the equivalent of something else. This genre of articles is one of my favorites to read. Some examples of it are The Victorious Characters as Gilmore Girls Characters and What Hunger Games District You’re in Based on Your FSU Dorm Hall. The Halloween season has been making me rewatch some of my most treasured thriller movies and it got me thinking — my favorite genre of thriller movies is the one where there’s a final girl.
You know her. You love her. She’s the resourceful woman here to save herself while showing the villain she’s not to be messed with. I’ve always found empowerment in these lovely ladies from thriller movies. Rather than tell you why these gals are my favorite, I decided, in the spirit of my hilarious writing predecessors, I’d make you sit and understand my rationale as to what these women are as coffee orders.
Clarice Starling is a Caffè Americano
First up is one of my favorite fighting heroines, Clarice Starling from The Silence of the Lambs. Starling is an FBI agent in training trying to make her way in a career dominated by men who underestimate her. Throughout the film, she must use her brains and intuition to outsmart convicted killer Hannibal Lecter and put the deadly Buffalo Bill behind bars. Because of her practical, no-nonsense nature, I’d say she’s a Caffè Americano.
The Caffè Americano is primarily water and espresso, making it straight to the point. When drinking this coffee, you’re getting your caffeine fix and you’re getting it immediately. As much as I love a good old-fashioned Frappuccino, it’s a drink that takes time compared to the Americano. Every sip of its sugary and caffeinated goodness must be appreciated; I can’t imagine Starling taking the time to enjoy one. Rather, she’s going to chug her Americano and get on to saving the world, one villainous takedown at a time.
Amy Dunne is a London Fog Tea Latte
David Fincher created a cinematic masterpiece when he directed the mind-boggling, plot-twisting Gone Girl. It’s complete with a driving female lead who plays both the protagonist and antagonist depending on who’s viewing the film and what they interpret. Now, is Amy Dunne really a final girl? Film scholars may debate it, but in my mind, she 100 percent is. So to categorize her as a coffee order, I’d say she’s a London Fog Tea Latte.
Now the whole premise of the film is that Dunne is a woman who alienates herself from other women. She labels herself as a “cool girl.” A cool girl is vastly different from a normal girl — she’s better. This is precisely why I think Dunne would be a London Fog. A tea-based drink on a list of coffee orders. She is not like other girls, just like how tea leaves are not like coffee beans. Also, the London Fog is technically a latte, which is a common aspect of coffee drinks. So Dunne, despite isolating herself as the “cool girl,” really isn’t that different from the rest of us, which she realizes as the film progresses.
Grace le Domas is a Salted Caramel Cream Cold Brew
If you haven’t had the opportunity to watch Ready or Not, this is now your sign to go and do so. The film is phenomenal. I was screaming at the TV, closing my eyes at tense parts, and ultimately rooting for our final girl, Grace Le Domas. Le Domas is fun. An outsider to the family she just married into, she’s game for their quirky family antics, which (little does she know) include a deathly round of hide and seek. Because of this, she has the fun, sweet part of the caramel in the Salted Caramel Cream Cold Brew.
But when stuff starts to get crazy and it’s time for Le Domas to fight back, she tosses her heels, cuts up her dress, and gets to work. Because of this persistent and determined attitude to live and survive, she embodies the bold, caffeinated flavors of the cold brew. It ultimately makes her the perfect combo of sweet and salty that packs a powerful punch.
Sidney Prescott is a Pumpkin Spice Latte
If you’re a fan of the final girl genre, you had to know that Miss Prescott of the Scream films was going to be on this list. In my opinion, she’s one of the original final girls. l love her resilience in the first film. At the time, it paved the way for a lot of thriller/horror flicks that would come in later years. The previous scary movies were gory slashers like Friday the 13th and Halloween. Filmmaker Wes Craven dared to poke fun at the genre conventions from the previous films. This is apparent in Prescott’s character. She outright tells the killer on the phone about the misogynistic stereotypes within all these “classics.” This makes her a Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Because of Prescott’s personality, she feels like a breath of fresh air for the scary movie genre. The fall favorite PSL was once like Scream. It was new to the coffee game, yet dared to go where no other coffee order had gone before. Its daring characteristics put it on the map and keeps coming back every fall, stronger and more liked than ever before. Do you know what else keeps coming back? Scream franchise movies. It’s not a coincidence.
So while you’re curling up this Halloween season and watching your favorite fearless females take on monsters, lethal families, and serial killers, maybe you’ll concoct your rationale as to what type of coffee order they’d be. Maybe you’ll even sip on a fun little drink that you feel suits the character.
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