For many of us, our daily schedules revolve around either school or work. By now, we may each have our own routine that involves waking up, going to class, going to work, and then returning home after a long day. While this pattern may be productive, it can become monotonous.
But what if there was a way to break that monotony? What if we found the time to relax, rest, and be in community with the people around us? And even if we did have the time, where would we do it? What I present is finding a place outside of work, school, or home where you can relax and be greeted with familiar faces: a “third place,” if you will.
Now, the concept of a “third place” is not my original idea (I wish). Ray Oldenburg coined the phrase in his book The Great Good Place in 1989. His idea of a “third place” was any location that fostered social interaction without the expectation of productivity. The key is finding places that are outside the realm of your home and work.
I’m sure you’re thinking, “Okay, but where are these third places?” Truthfully, there are a plethora of opportunities to find your third place. It’s all about knowing where to look, and perhaps, revealing what you’ve always seen.
Finding Familiar Spaces
The first step to finding your third place is looking at the places you already frequent. After all, finding a third place shouldn’t be another source of stress but rather a chance for revival after or between long periods of work.
What makes third places so enticing is their accessibility and familiarity. It’s a place you’ve come to know like the back of your hand. Perhaps a spot comes to mind, but you’ve never seen it as a “third place.” That’s okay. Something as simple as getting coffee at your favorite café could be transformed into a third place. It’s all about intention. Schedule some time to enjoy your coffee “for here” instead of “to go.” Sit back and settle in. You’ve found a third place!
Perhaps you pass by a park on your way home every day. Tired and distracted from the stress of the day, you often walk past it without a second thought. Maybe you’ve never considered yourself a “sitting in the park” kind of person. It might feel uncomfortable at first — venturing into spaces you don’t usually explore — but over time, you’ll wonder how you could’ve possibly missed it before. Keep an eye out for those spots that you’ve always looked at but never seen, and you may be surprised at what you find.
Finding Familiar Faces
Once you’ve established a comfortable place, it’s time to take it to the next level. Scary, I know. Listen, I’m just as guilty as the next person for getting lost in my world and refusing to look around — especially when I’m alone. Sometimes, it feels like we do everything in our power to avoid human interaction, but isn’t that exactly what we’re missing? Sometimes, I’ll put myself in spaces where I know I’ll see people I recognize. Yet, as soon as I see someone, my eyes are immediately glued to my phone as I scramble to look busy. C’mon, we’ve all done it.
Instead, let me propose an alternative reality. You’re sitting alone, and someone you vaguely know enters your space. You feel the urge to dodge their eye contact, but you resist and choose to acknowledge their presence as well as your own in that space. You smile, they wave, and a pleasant exchange has just occurred.
When we allow ourselves to see others, we, in turn, give others the chance to see us. So, next time you’re walking your usual route to work, school, or home, give the headphones a break, put the phone in your pocket, and let yourself be seen! We’re not as invisible as we may feel.
Finding Third Places
The best part about third places is that anyone can find one if they just know where to look. It’s not about finding the “perfect” space to relax or recognize people in, but simply a place where you’re willing to try. A local bookstore, a nearby park, or a comforting bench, third places are all around us! But more importantly, people are all around us.
While society tells us to run to work and run back home, third places offer us a safe space to slow down. In return, all we need to do is look up.
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