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21 Small Lessons I’ve Learned at 21 Years Old

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at FSU chapter.

As of Monday, Oct. 21, I will have been on this earth for 21 years. My golden birthday is one I’ve been looking forward to for as long as I can remember. Turning the most celebrated age on the corresponding numerical day is something I’ve flaunted (shout-out to my parents).

While I’m excited as the big day approaches, I’m also thankful for my life thus far. So, to celebrate my most crucial birthday yet, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned until now:

Be you

Throughout high school, I tried to change myself to fit others’ expectations. It was exhausting, and the friends I had were not-so-great people. In college, I’ve been my authentic self and found friends who celebrate and love me for all of my quirks.

Don’t take your loved ones for granted

My grandfather passed away earlier this year, and I wish nothing more than to give him one last hug. My family can drive me bonkers sometimes, but I realize that loved ones won’t be around forever, so I try to cherish all moments with them.

Take risks

I’ve had regrets about chances I didn’t take because of fear. Time never comes back, so I’ve learned that the opportunity for later is now.

Everything happens for a reason:

Let’s be honest, bad things are bound to happen. When my father couldn’t join my mom for parent’s weekend last year — and I was devastated — he ended up holding on to my grandpa’s hand when he took his last breath. Anytime anything wrong happens, I try to look at the positive side of every situation.

Boundaries are healthy

I’m still learning this one. While they can be challenging to create, boundaries have been incredibly beneficial to my well-being. I’ve found that whenever I’ve had to make a boundary, it worked in my favor and only took a conversation.

Communication is always the answer

I’ve stressed the importance of communication in a previous article. Nine times out of ten, my conflicts were usually just misunderstandings. In my opinion, gossip will never solve a problem.

Comparison is the thief of joy

Another lesson I’m still learning is that there will always be someone happier, more fit, and better than me. Being an English major and constantly peer-reviewing incredible writers is discouraging when I compare myself to them. But, I have my own style, and I’m on my own timeline, so there’s no need to measure my successes against others.

Always show gratitude

There are so many things for which I can be thankful in my life. I’m blessed beyond reason for the things I’ve been granted. Recognizing your fortune, no matter how small, can potentially result in a stronger appreciation for life.

Increase financial literacy

I have to thank my boyfriend for this lesson and my beloved personal finance class. In all seriousness, the future is fast approaching, and I’m taking the necessary steps to feel financially comfortable leaving college, ultimately preparing for my life ahead.

Find Your Faith

I put mine in Jesus, and it’s been freeing. I have less anxiety and a sense of unexplainable peace. Faith assures us of the things we cannot see and motivates us to live a life worth living. Your faith doesn’t have to be religion. Find something you can rely on to comfort you during turbulent times.  

Forgive yourself

I’ve always been hard on myself, but I’m still human. I’ll make mistake after mistake without fail. I’ve found myself carrying unnecessary resentment, and letting go of that is like a heavy weight off my chest.

Embrace Change

Life is constantly changing, and I’ve learned that remaining in the past will not benefit you in any way, shape, or form. When I embrace change rather than run from it, I’m more present and find more joy.

Reading will change your life

I hated reading and writing, but now they’re part of my academic and personal life. I’ve learned many lessons from books and found a necessary escape from reality in fairy-tale stories.

Quality over Quantity

This is a bit cliché, but to me, it’s a truth: the quality of friendships beats quantity any day. This can go beyond just relationships; appreciating the quality of what you have makes for a more gracious lifestyle.

 Being selfish is okay sometimes

Obviously, not if it hurts someone else, but I’ve always been a certified people-pleaser. As I’ve begun to break that cycle and choose myself, I’ve found greater happiness. Why should we judge someone for choosing their mental health over keeping others happy?

Do what’s right, not what’s easy

This is a lesson from my dad. It’s his mantra and one I live by daily. The right thing usually isn’t easy, but that doesn’t make it any less right. When a hard decision is in front of me, I always consider the right and easy things to do, and I do my best to choose the right thing.

Never say never

“Man plans, God laughs” is a statement that has been told to me for years but has been very accurate in my life. I’ve had many plans go awry, but the outcome has often been better than I could ever imagine.

Treat others the way you want to be treated

I learned the golden rule when I was about five years old. When I treated people with anguish, I received the same in return, and when I treated people with compassion, that’s what I got back. You get what you put in; sometimes, people need an olive branch.

Be mindful of others

I’ve lived a lot of life disregarding others’ mental well-being. When I got to college, I recognized that everyone endures personal struggles that may not be physically evident. I’ve learned to empathize with my peers by crafting a nurturing environment for their growth.

Appreciate the small things

As I’ve traveled deeper into the creative writing field, I’ve learned to be observant. This has helped me discover the joys of life. Appreciating the small things has made me a more present individual.

The best is yet to come

The blessings I’ve received are too abundant to count, and I know I’m entering some of the best years of my life. I don’t have everything figured out, but my journey will be as fun as my destination and happen as planned.

Happy birthday to anyone turning 21!

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Mandi Stoyanov is a staff writer at Her Campus Florida State University chapter. She writes campus, lifestyle, and culture-related articles. Beyond Her Campus, Mandi enjoys writing other nonfiction, reading, and crocheting in her free time. She prides herself in the creation of her high school's literary magazine and the publication of smaller yet important works. She has achieved her Associate's Degree in Arts and is working toward a Bachelor's Degree in Arts and Sciences with a focus in Creative Writing and a minor in General Business.