Whether you’re single, cuffed up or in a complicated relationship, you probably have experienced the dreaded moment when you’re out at a restaurant or club or maybe even the grocery store and get approached by someone on a mission who is clearly no James Bond. I talked to a number of college students on this topic and have gathered my top four rankings of the worst introductions. These intros will have girls or guys lose interest in record-breaking time and I’m sorry if they have ever happened to you.
1. The “Straight to the Point”
I don’t know whether they watched Wolf of Wall Street one too many times or worship Nelk a little too seriously but someone needs to teach these guys the basics of conversation before they try to get to the good stuff (unless you’re okay with it).
This has happened to a number of my friends and it makes me wonder who taught people that this was the best route to go. Apparently, it works out for them some of the time because it still happens more than it should. The quickest and best response to this one is to just laugh and give a quick “No thanks” and hope they get the message.
2. The “Just Going For It”
This approach is easily the worst in my opinion. At least in “Straight to the Point,” the person opens up with words. One of my friends told me a horror story where she was out with her friends and suddenly had her hair pulled back and her back being pushed down by a random guy behind her.
Now, I’m no expert in sociology, but I do know basic courtesy and this approach has absolutely none of it. It comes in many forms, from the hip grab to even just going in for the kiss and the stories never fail to make me want to gag.
For some people, just being grabbed out of the blue can be triggering and catch them completely off guard. People, it is really not that hard to use your words. Your chances get a lot higher by even just asking if they want to dance with you.
Depending on the situation, the best approach to this one is just walking away from them. But if it was way out of pocket, I would give them a little more hell than that before walking off.
3. The “Chad”
For some people, this might come off more as a compliment, but I personally hate when people skip past the introductions and jump straight to the “What sorority are you in” or “Are you in a frat?”
Maybe they are involved in Greek life, but that should not be the starting point. A starting point that is much more appropriate and is even easier to say is a simple “Hi.” Maybe ask their name or major or literally anything else more other than their Greek rank.
In my opinion, asking for their sorority or frat off the bat comes off as shallow and makes it appear that you value that over their basic details.
Maybe after you know their name, go for it, but I personally lose interest almost immediately in a conversation that opens up with me being categorized by my sorority or whether I’m even in one or not.
4. The “Hoverer”
There are two kinds of hoverers. The first is the classic awkward stranger who you spot out of the corner of your eye just dancing a foot or few inches away from you who ends up staying somewhere in your peripheral for the rest of the night.
Then, there’s the “Can’t Take a Hint” hoverer. Let’s say they pass the basics. They use their words and learn your name like a real keeper, but you still are not really interested. There’s nothing more irritating than someone who can’t take a hint.
There are way too many times where I see or hear about someone trying to be nice to a stranger and end up getting someone breathing down their neck for the rest of the night. I’ve had friends tell lies like that they were not interested in men and get responses like “let me change that.” My personal pet peeve is when someone says they are in a relationship and get a “well they’re not here.” Come on, stay classy Tallahassee.
Whether you have to tell a quick white lie or directly spell out that you want them to leave you alone, do not be afraid to let them know you are not interested. It’s your night out and you’re trying to enjoy it. Don’t let your own personal politeness lead to having a sweaty stranger in your personal space for much longer than they should be.
Clearly, these approaches should have gone extinct a long time ago. Know that you do not owe a stranger anything and don’t be afraid to use your words either.
Want to see more HCFSU? Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Youtube and Pinterest!