Let’s be honest, at some point, we have to have the awkward “what are we” conversation. Being a college student, it can be difficult to define a relationship that started with no intentions of being anything. With apps like Tinder and Bumble, where all we have to do is swipe right on someone we’re attracted to, we have become so accustomed to the idea of just hooking up with the other person. So, what do you do when you start catching feelings for your hookup?
Tell them how you feel and then ask them how they feel! Yeah, if only it were that simple.
There is so much hesitation in confessing to someone how you feel, and most of that is probably from a fear of rejection. Having feelings for someone and the idea of them not sharing those feelings with you can be hard. I mean honestly, why would they want a defined relationship when they are already getting all the aspects of one anyways? Hint, that question is unfair and undermines the validity of your feelings. This is where the issue of a situationship comes into play. If you are stuck in that place where you like the other person and maybe, just maybe, they like you too, then you are in a classic situationship. Both of you are too afraid to come to the other and tell each other how you feel or you both just simply refuse to define the kind of relationship you are in.
It can become confusing and hurtful to be a situationship. You aren’t receiving the kind of relationship that you want, but you like this person and are struggling to break away from them. Not knowing how or if you should consider yourself single enough to go talk to and hook up with other people. Feeling like the relationship is just something you are grasping onto because at this point you are just tired of trying to find an actual relationship. All of these feelings absolutely suck, but they are valid.
Let’s say you took the plunge and finally had a conversation with this other person. They admit to you that they are just not looking for the kind of relationship you had hoped for right now, then what? At this point, it is fully up to you to decide what you want to do. If you want to keep yourself in your current situation then power to you! There are plenty of people that are okay with a relationship that has absolutely no definition to it. However, if you still feel unhappy and just need to get out then do it. It’s okay to leave someone behind because they are just not ready for whatever you want. You do not have to wait for them to catch up to your emotions. Take care of yourself first!
If you are in a situationship that just feels off and you realize that it is something you do not want to be in anymore, you shouldn’t hesitate to either speak up or move on to a better relationship. You deserve to be in a place that someone is happy to be in the kind of relationship that you want to be in. There is no sense of being stuck in that place of hurt and confusion. If you have a fear of rejection, just know that everyone is rejected at some point and their life and you will live and learn to move on. If you are afraid of being outside of some kind of relationship, it is okay to take time to yourself to practice being alone and realizing that sometimes it can be great!
You are worthy of receiving back all the love and attention you have given.
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