Just before the clock struck midnight on Jan. 1, I was full of hope for the upcoming year. I remember watching the ball drop on TV with my cousins, counting the seconds to midnight and beaming excitedly. 2022 was a year full of personal bests and a lot of worsts. From graduating high school to developing an eating disorder, I was overwhelmed with emotions. I was ready to put my best foot forward for the new year. I was prepared to go after my goals. After all, I had the most supportive family, friends, and (at the time) boyfriend. I was ready to tackle the year.
January me would go into cardiac arrest if she knew where I was now. I’ve achieved countless goals in 12 months, including a complete 180 with my major. January me would be proud of those changes. However, she would’ve never predicted the toll that the 2023 breakup season would take on the world, including me. I started dating my now ex-boyfriend in October 2020. We dated for three years, and since the fall of 2020, I’d seen the breakups of celebrities, friends, and relatives. Out of the three breakup seasons I’d witnessed while dating, the 2023 breakup season was different… it didn’t end in August.
Breakup season didn’t lose momentum this year — in fact, it picked up speed — it carried through to fall, a time of year when many fall in love. “Breakup season” typically starts in the spring and ends in the late summer. From May through August specifically, relationships end left and right. Whether it’s been six months of dating or three years of marriage, it seems that anyone could break up during this period. No couple is safe.
As I’ve seen online, primarily through TikTok, many other couples went through something very similar this year. It’s uncanny how many long-term relationships have ended in 2023, but the most intriguing thing to me is the aftermath of it all. Learning to be alone again after dating someone for any amount of time feels weird. Getting out of a long-term relationship at the age of 19 and realizing you’ve never been single as an adult is an absolutely terrifying feeling (totally not based on a real example). Whether you were cheated on, lied to, or ghosted until you had to end it over text, the end of a romantic relationship can be a dreadfully difficult experience. Grieving someone alive is gut-wrenching. So, I’m writing this for all the girlies affected by the 2023 breakup season.
To the extraordinary, talented, kind, intelligent, and capable young women reading this,
Your worth has nothing to do with the person you dated.
It’s okay to be single, even during the holidays.
You deserve to be happy.
It’s okay to make mistakes.
You don’t have to be embarrassed to love someone.
You don’t have to be scared of being alone.
There’s no shame in walking away or things ending.
You have so many other people who love you.
There’s so much life and adventure ahead of you. It’s easy to feel discouraged, especially if you’re recently single and Christmas is approaching, but try to enjoy this time alone. There’s beauty and peace in being with yourself; there’s nothing wrong with change.
When one door closes, another opens.
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