Just before my 16th birthday, a new member of my family joined the picture; I had a new baby brother. My baby brother, Connor, was born in March 2018 during my sophomore year of high school, and he has been one of the greatest gifts to my family. However, having an almost 16-year age gap with your brother comes with both pros and cons.
I knew for a long time that my stepmom and dad wanted a child besides myself and my other brother, Luke, who is just over a year younger than me. My stepmom was the pristine image of a mother, having been my stepmom for seven years and an aunt for six years at that point. I always knew she would be the perfect mother for any children she had, even if that just meant me and my brother.
From the moment I found out my stepmom was pregnant with my little half-sibling, I was ecstatic. I crocheted baby hats, sewed burp cloths and made a diaper wreath, as opposed to a diaper cake, for the baby shower. Not so secretly, I wanted a little sister since I had spent virtually my whole life with a younger brother. Early on, though, we found out he was a baby boy, and I could not wait to watch him grow.
I was lucky enough to go to the ultrasound appointments with my parents and, due to health circumstances, they had appointments every two weeks. Additionally, those bi-weekly appointments landed on all of the Saturdays I was scheduled to be staying at my dad’s house. I got to watch in real time as the ultrasound pictures were taken and my baby brother was growing right before my eyes. I was even the one who came up with his first name after my stepmom had picked out his middle name.
When March came around in 2018, each day crawled by while I waited for the arrival of my baby brother. Finally, I got to meet Connor when he was just a few hours old. My heart poured out right in that hospital room while I cradled my new best friend.
Having a sibling with such a large age gap is much different from having one with a small age gap. My brother, Luke, has been in my life for virtually my entire life. We have never had an incredibly close relationship, but it has grown as we’ve gotten older and matured. We have learned from one another as we have had different and similar experiences. With Connor, I feel like more of a guardian and someone he can learn from. I have been a part of teaching him things from how to walk to different funny phrases. He also has more of an understanding of college than some high schoolers it seems.
Over the past four years, having such a younger sibling has had its highs and lows. It was tedious sharing a wall between mine and his bedroom, as I could hardly make any noise after 8 p.m. More recently, we’ve had to watch our language and tailor our behavior to him. It’s not the same as interacting with a teenager or an adult. My family lives in Maryland, so most of the year I’m away from them while I study at Florida State University (FSU). However, Connor has become an expert at FaceTime, and we talk every couple of days.
Nevertheless, the pros outweigh the cons. Before I left for college, the day-to-day activities were so enjoyable as I watched Connor learn to roll over, crawl, walk and talk. When the pandemic hit in 2020, it meant I got to spend even more time at home with my family. His second birthday party was right before lockdown, and it is amazing to see how Connor had become an independent and free-spirited little kid in the last two years. He loves motorcycles, Star Wars, pedicures, baseball and bike rides. Now that I am at FSU, he loves to carry my stepmom’s phone around the house to show me his preschool crafts and his favorite toys while telling me about all the things he did that day. Our family would not be the same without him and I am so grateful to have my baby brother in my life.
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