Growing up can be intense — it’s a roller coaster of emotions with hundreds of new stressors each day. Entering college was a weird time. COVID-19 had just moved my senior year online, prom was canceled and everyone’s graduation and summer plans had to be changed. Going to college without having the closure I needed for high school or the closure for my childhood was difficult.
In my freshman year of college, I learned about my inner child, the little girl that had been trying to process all her experiences and emotions from a young age. And this little girl that just wanted to run around in the grass, swim and laugh all day had a hard time adjusting to the new requirements of adulthood. I started to think of ways to reconnect with and nurture my inner child’s emotional needs, even as an adult. It has been an immensely rewarding experience that I want to share with anyone who might feel the same way.
Running Around Outside
When we grow up, it seems like every activity becomes a chore. Physical activity becomes something we should do to stay in shape or maintain the body society tells us we should have. But we didn’t think about any of that when we were kids. We ran around the yard or to our best friend’s house just because it was fun. Running around barefoot or swimming just for fun reminds me of when I was younger and my dad would chase me around in the lake. Then we’d run up the hill for lunch when we got tired. Frolicking in my yard at home or in a field of flowers on the way back from work and soaking up the sun’s rays has allowed me to feel that sense of freedom I can’t get from a treadmill.
Feeling All the Emotions
Whenever I say I’m having one of those days or feeling emotional, I’m often met with a “Why?” While well-meaning, sometimes I don’t necessarily know “Why.” I feel that way just because I do and that’s completely okay. I like to remember that I don’t always need to know why I feel a certain way. I can just allow myself to feel that emotion until it passes, just as I would have as a kid. It reminds me of when I used to listen to a sad song on a rainy day and look out the window like I was in a music video. On a happy sunny day, I listened to songs that made me feel like I was at the beach. I try to remember that whatever way I’m feeling, I’m feeling it because my body knows I need to. It’s not necessarily something I need to change at the moment.
Laughing Often
During those formative years of middle and high school, insecurity ran rampant. It broke my heart when the boy in my class got made fun of when he snorted while he laughed, or my best friend would stifle her giggle because someone told her it sounded funny. Another way I connect with my inner child is by laughing often and authentically. It reminds me of when I would laugh so hard with my friend group in middle school that my stomach hurt, and I started to wheeze because I couldn’t breathe in. I would never tell that girl she had an awful laugh, so why should I say that to myself now?
Taking Up Hobbies
I think as I got older, I started to feel like I had to be good at everything I tried, and if I wasn’t, what was the point in doing it? When I was younger, I fingerpainted the silliest little creatures and braided bracelets with colors that didn’t match at all, and I loved every second of it. Now I like to paint and draw, but sometimes I want to find inspiration and pick out the right colors beforehand, which turns me off from the process.
Creating just for fun reminds me of sitting at the kitchen table with my mom when I was little, making little paper-mache creations with no rhyme or reason. I like to remind myself that I can paint just because I like doing it. It doesn’t have to be aesthetic or even good at all, but doing so with reckless abandon might be what my inner child needs to feel free.
Dancing Freely and Singing Loudly
On a similar track, I’m sometimes embarrassed to sing and dance because I’m not that good at it, even when I’m alone in my room. Instead of shaming myself into quietly sitting and listening to music, I try to think about what the younger me would rather do. I like to play old Disney songs I grew up with and just dance. It reminds me of jumping on the bed and singing Hannah Montana at the top of my lungs with my childhood best friend while her parents begged us to sleep. I liked doing it then, and just because I’ve grown up doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it now. I don’t think I should have to be the best at something just to be able to do it for fun!
Living In Color
My house growing up was an explosion of color with yellow walls here and there, pink curtains and green ivy growing on the cottage-like exterior. As I grew older and began decorating my own spaces, I thought I had to follow the aesthetic at the time of clean white interiors with carefully curated pops of color. I realized I felt happier and more at home in vibrant spaces and rooms with explosions of color. If you were to see my apartment right now, you’d see that is very apparent.
Sleeping With Stuffed Animals
I don’t remember when exactly, but when we were younger, there was a critical turning point when it became uncool to sleep with stuffed animals. Why? I’m not sure. I have a little brown Build-A-Bear on my bed in my college apartment. Her name is DC because I got her the day I went to Washington, D.C. Original, I know. She reminds me of my favorite stuffed animals that made the nighttime a little less scary when I was younger. Being older doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy that same child-like comfort now.
Watching Cartoons
When we grow up, the shows and movies we can watch expand immensely, but that doesn’t mean the topics need to mature with us. I love drama as much as the next girl, but sometimes after a stressful and emotional day, the last thing I need is for my heart rate to spike watching Love and Joe of You run from the police. Silly little cartoons offer enough respite to get my mind off the day’s stressors while not being too overstimulating. On top of that, watching cartoons reminds me of my best friend and I holing up in the room on family vacations and watching countless episodes of Phineas and Ferb or Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse.
My main goal when focusing on reconnecting with my inner child is to remind myself that I am still her. I would never tell a five-year-old me that it’s stupid to sleep with stuffed animals or not to dance because she was terrible at it, so why is it okay to tell myself that now? I try to remember that I can do fun little things for myself because they are just that, fun, and not everything has to have a goal.
Remember, little you would think that you’re pretty and cool and that they want to be just like you when they grow up, just like how we used to look at the older girls in our favorite shows growing up.
Make her proud.
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