The best way I can describe Imposter Syndrome is a feeling of inadequacy—the key word being feeling. It’s important for me to remember that’s all Imposter Syndrome is: a feeling. I do not actually seem inadequate to the people around me. This is an important reminder for times even when I view myself as inadequate. When I begin to criticize myself, I have to remember that I’m always my harshest critic. As a result of Imposter Syndrome, I have struggled with this feeling both in regard to myself and the people surrounding me. Here are some ways I try and remain grounded when I start to experience that dreaded feeling of inadequacy.
Take a Step Back
While this concept may seem relatively simple, it’s too often forgotten. When I start to feel that overwhelming crush of inadequacy, I take a step back. I take a step back to look at how far I’ve come. Whether it’s from a year ago, five years ago, or more, I take a step back (or a few) to see how I’ve grown. What’s helpful about this step is that looking at my past helps me look toward my future. After familiarizing myself with how much I’ve changed, I think of ways I still can change. Make no mistake—I try not to become disappointed with myself on how I still haven’t accomplished tasks A or B. On the contrary, I mean I’m focusing on how I can continue to better improve myself. Whether it’s finally fixing my sleep schedule or making a habit to read a book every so often, there are certain things that can give me something to look forward to in the future. This practice reinforces that I haven’t given up on myself and I’m still looking forward to the future, towards ways I can grow. In summation, it is a delicate balance between admiring my victories and striving for things I have not yet been able to accomplish.
Small Victories Matter Too
No matter how small or insignificant I might think an accomplishment is, it doesn’t matter. An accomplishment is an accomplishment no matter how small. For example, it’s an accomplishment if you recognized that sentence as being very similar to the famous Horton Hears a Who quote. It’s important to remember that everyone has different means, limits, responsibilities, etc. All of these attributes help us get closer to what we aspire to accomplish. However, these aspects of ourselves also contribute to how we can accomplish something. For some people, it’s simply easier to accomplish stuff. Whether it is due to money, time, or unfortunately even race, many aspects of ourselves can factor into how difficult it is to accomplish something. Because of that, it is important that I celebrate my small victories as well. Even small accomplishments are important stepping stones to the larger goal.
You Only Have Half the Story
If I’m being honest, I often have to remind myself of this: I only have half the story. There is the half that is told verbally or via social media, along with the half that is hidden away. Rarely does someone give all the details about how they were able to accomplish something. An example of this would be someone broadcasting to everyone about their acceptance to a really cool internship while failing to mention all of the rejections before that acceptance. People are going to tell you that they were able to achieve a high-ranking position within an organization, but they aren’t going to tell you about all the people or resources that helped them achieve that position. I try to remember that with every story I’m told, I’m probably only being told half the story.
I am not invincible to the soul-crushing feeling of imposter syndrome—it’s only human nature to second guess yourself from time to time. However, I definitely have made my harshest critic a little nicer.
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