I’m guessing if you’re reading this, you’ve either found yourself in another talking stage or you’ve probably been through this too many times. So, you’ve met someone that you’re interested in as more than a friend, you guys are constantly Snapchatting or texting, and hanging out, which seems pretty simple but that’s not the case at all. The huge question running through everyone’s mind is whether this will turn into something more. As someone who has gone through the infamous talking stage and has also failed to get past it, we can all agree this can be a very confusing time, so let’s talk about the talking stage.
This stage of getting to know someone can be very unclear, especially in the way you should act with this person and where it will lead to. Obviously when in this stage, the person is more than a friend, but also not your boyfriend or girlfriend and you need to remember that. It can get confusing, especially in college, since you both haven’t defined that you’re talking or defined what you guys really are. You don’t want to be too clingy, but you also don’t want to be too closed off. So then, how should I act? It’s important to remember you guys aren’t in a relationship, you’re allowed to talk to other people just as much as the other person. This stage is meant to be casual; you guys are only beginning to get to know each other, so don’t rush into anything and take it day by day.
At this point you might be asking yourself: will this turn into anything more? When this happens, my instinct is to try and not make this situation so serious by asking the person, “What are we?” which results in me staying silent and never saying anything in hopes they will eventually bring up the conversation first. Although I’ve done this in the past, as I’ve gotten older I realized it’s normal to want to ask types of questions like that, especially if the talking stage has gone on for months. Your feelings are valid and we’re old enough to have these conversations. At the end of the day, the talking stage is the step before committing to a relationship, so don’t be afraid to communicate and say what’s on your mind!
While we all hope to get past the talking stage, it doesn’t always end up that way. We’ve all been there, another failed talking stage leaving us sad and others expecting us to be fine because you guys were only “talking.” I know this feeling and there’s no better way of explaining how it feels other than that it sucks. My advice to you if and when this happens is to go get your favorite bottle of wine and listen to Taylor Swift’s new album Red (Taylor’s Version). Have a good cry, stay home in bed for a day and then have a self-care night and remember that you are amazing.
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