There was never a time I did not enjoy classical music. From learning about Mozart in Baby Einsteins to picking up piano under my grandma’s instruction, classical became the basis of my musical knowledge. I began to enjoy other genres as I was exposed to them: car radio, friends from school and grocery store playlists. Wandering around filling the silence with pop tunes, I was completely unaware of how much a single instrument “wood” completely change my perspective on music.
I remember when I first held a cello at an instrument showcase at my school, it was like finishing a puzzle. A hollow wooden instrument was the missing piece for me to live a well-rounded life. Well, I didn’t know that at the time. I simply liked the idea of playing an instrument that could swallow my 10-year-old body whole.
Thus, I began learning the cello. I gradually played piano less to focus on my cello studies since I became more and more fascinated by the instrument’s range and style over its sheer size. However, as I played for various school orchestras, pit orchestras, county-wide ensembles and church groups (along with receiving private lessons), I got hyper-focused on perfection in my performances. It was easy to compare my skill level with other cellists since seating arrangements are based on skill alone. It became mentally draining to play as I nitpicked each of my rehearsals and concerts, wanting to be the best. I lost sight of my initial love for performing classical music by the time I reached first chair in my high school orchestra as a senior. After a winter concert solo and a brief recital that was cut short by the pandemic, I convinced myself that I would never pick up a cello again.
Despite my hiatus in playing, classical was still my number one genre on Spotify. I spent my first year at FSU listening to classical to fill the silence while walking or studying. I mentioned my cello training from time to time in icebreakers and other casual conversations. What made me consider playing again was church. Some of my friends I met from church encouraged me to play for mass the following semester after learning that I played for a long time. I agreed only because playing in church is much lower stakes than an audition or solo performance.
So, I lugged my cello from my home in Maryland to FSU. I would be lying if I said I relearned my training fast: I was most definitely rusty. However, it did not seem to matter as much playing in mass mostly because it isn’t about performing. Sure, I should sound good, but this audience did not care if I wasn’t the most technically proficient. Rather than trying to relearn these technicalities, I redirected to improvisation, which I have never done before. With no sheet music in front of me, I had to test out what sounds good in the moment and in front of people. Improv elicits more creativity while still training my ear. I loved playing again after finding my style. My cello (whom I call “Cellito” now) and I are essentially a singular entity.
Everything started to come together again when my improv training began to coincide with my emotions. I gained the ability to play how I feel by improving on Cellito, plus I discovered I can empathize with others through classical pieces stored in my repertoire and Spotify playlists. Because emotions are a constant in my life just like everyone’s, classical music became a constant in my life along with my emotions. If I’m sad, I listen to solemn symphonies in minor keys. Happy? Arrangements by The Piano Guys become my soundtrack walking to class. Someone else is going through a rough time? A slow piece with dynamic swells always touches at the heart. Call me an old soul, but playing Cellito and listening to the sound of a cello is versatile in all aspects of my life.
Would I consider myself the best cellist in the world? Definitely not. I don’t even think I can compare to any cello music student at FSU when it comes down to talent. However, I learned to apply my musical ear to my everyday life. With Cellito’s help, I can’t go a day without listening to classical music, fiddling for fun or suggesting a piece to my friends. My journey with Cellito has been bumpy but I would not change anything if this were the end result. I hear nothing but clear melodies in the future for me and my Cellito.
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