When Taylor Swift announced a brand-new album of songs about experiences that kept her up at night, I was immediately sold. Then, just a couple of days before the official debut of the album, she announced five themes to the songs. The ones that stuck with me were “Self Loathing” and “Wondering What Might Have Been.” These are things that often keep me up at night, so while this album was deeply personal to her, it also resonated with me. These are my rankings:
- “Bigger than the whole sky (3 am edition)”
-
I often lose my nights to thoughts of what could have been. In this song, Taylor Swift explores the sadness that is felt when someone one cares about leaves them. In the line, “Did some bird flap its wings over in Asia? Did some force take you because I didn’t pray?” she refers to what is known as the “butterfly effect.” Taylor explores how something so out of her control affected her so deeply. She envisions this person as something bigger than a never-ending existence because she idolizes them. Because of her lyricism and the meaning behind the song, it has risen to my number-one favorite song from her.
- “Labyrinth”
-
The first verse and its transition into the rest of the song demonstrate the idea that pain is only temporary, and trying to convince yourself of this. The idea that you’ll be getting over someone for the rest of your life is something we believe to be true at times, even when we know it’s not. It’s something I’m trying to convince myself of at this very moment. Then, the song transitions to the fear of falling in love once more, despite the hurt from before. I love the way it’s described and it’s easily one of the best songs on the album.
- “hits different (target exclusive)”
-
Taylor describes a pain that feels insurmountable when it comes to a specific person and only them. Need I say more?
- “midnight rain”
-
It might just be me, but when it comes to romantic relationships, sometimes I can envision a future with a person in which it is ideally happy. However, down the line, it would feel like I gave up my life for the idea of perfection and not my dreams. At the end of the song, she describes both characters getting what they wanted — she got her fame, and he got his picture-perfect family. But at what cost? She has her dreams but she ultimately gave up the comfort she could have had. It’s just so good.
- “anti-hero”
-
I have this flaw where I always envision myself as a distorted version of who I am, a morally gray person turned morally corrupt. I have an incredible support system, yet I never know what they see in me. It’s a constant cycle of painting myself into all of my intrusive thoughts and trying to see the good others see. I think this song incredibly encapsulates self-loathing.
- “sweet nothing”
-
This song discusses the idea of being loved for who you are even if there’s nothing to gain, and coming home to simplicity and “sweet nothings.” It’s such a sweet and tender song.
- “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve (3 am edition)”
-
There are relationships we all regret. I’ll leave it at that.
- “The great war (3 am edition)”
-
A relationship that is turbulent yet oddly comforting, and the idea that it’s still worth fighting for. I absolutely love the imagery!
- “snow on the beach” (ft. lana del rey)
-
A love that happened based on fate, a recurring theme in her songs and the concept of an “invisible string” tying two people to each other. The thought of it is so sweet.
- “you’re on your own, kid”
-
It’s track 5 on the album … I’ve said what I needed to say. We’ve all had loves that are not reciprocated that lead us to believe that we’re on our own, yearning to leave a town haunted by them. I know it all too well.
- “maroon”
-
It’s reminiscent of the early stages of a relationship when you’re falling in love. It’s calm. I love how it contrasts her song “Red,” a song about the chaos of loving someone and the deep pains that come along with it.
- “mastermind”
-
I also plot schemes and make them seem accidental and up to fate — enough said.
- “High infidelity (3 am edition)”
-
She mentions something that happened on April 29. I remember exactly where I was and what I did on that date. It’s a secret I’m dying to keep.
- “Question…?”
-
I was not expecting to relate, but to answer your question, yes, Taylor, I have been kissed in a crowded room.
- “karma”
-
“Karma is real.” IYKYK — no further explanation is required.
- “Paris (3 am edition)”
-
Taylor’s secrecy and her efforts to keep her relationship with Joe Alwyn is beautiful. I enjoyed how she let the listeners know a little bit more about them with this song.
- “dear reader (3 am edition)”
-
I think this song should be listened to far and wide. I enjoyed her advice as though she is a book speaking to her audience.
- “vigilante sh*t”
-
I’ve never been one for revenge, but I have to say that this song is so good. The rhythm and the feeling around it are perfect for a girl’s night out. My best friend and I will be listening to this together soon.
- “glitch (3 am edition)”
-
Even though it is 19 on my list, this song completely destroyed me. How a love you thought wasn’t meant to last suddenly becomes everything you’ve ever wanted. Taylor does it again. Amazing song.
- “bejeweled”
-
Was it just me or did anyone else catch the Jake Gyllenhaal references?
- “lavender haze”
-
Maybe I’ll relate to this song when I fall in love again, but for right now, it’s too unattainable for me to listen to over and over. One day it’ll rise higher.
It was so hard to rank some of the songs on this list, as I truly enjoyed each one of them. Even some of the lower rankings are some of my favorites. I expected something completely different from the album based on its promotion, but this was a nice surprise.
Want to see more HCFSU? Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube and Pinterest!