It’s all about perspective.
Funnily enough, I have had that quote in my VSCO bio for as long as I can remember. Up until this year, though, I think I was using it wrong. Let me explain: everyone has their own idea for how their story should be played out. For example, whether it was intentional or not, you have some “villains” in your story, correct? A shifting perspective is realizing you might be the villain in someone else’s story as well.
This all started because I was deep-diving into the root problems of my anxiety. I kept making up these “what-if” scenarios in my head, planning for the absolute worst, unable to picture anything at all going right. And if something did go right, I would still feel unsettled because it felt too easy, like I didn’t earn it, therefore it wasn’t really going to work out. I was able to compartmentalize my thoughts and reason with myself about what logically would or would not happen. The happy part was that I always was able to reason with myself; the scary part was I had to do this every single time. I spend more time fighting with my head than focusing on the occurring moment.
It got exhausting. I was so tired of fighting with, arguing with and doubting myself. It didn’t make sense in my head. So, I made it make sense. This didn’t happen overnight, but instead rather slowly, choosing not to put myself in the same position that made me work through the process over again. I allowed myself to shift perspectives from “it’s happening again” to “what can I learn this time that will help me overcome it next time?” Once I started applying that to the little things, everything else fell into place.
I stopped questioning myself and started to understand that what I couldn’t make people understand about me was no longer an issue of being unable to communicate, but others simply not listening. Friends who didn’t make as much time for me became less of a “what did I do” factor and more of a “life is busy right now, I understand” mentality. A bad test grade wasn’t solely because I didn’t try enough; it was a hard test and I know how to prepare for the next one.
This type of mindset won’t ever fix all of your problems, but it helps you to find peace in the answers that you already have. Life is a never-ending cycle of complications. Allowing yourself to become the better and infinitely-growing version of yourself can help ease the anxiety. I have found that shifting my perspective helps me to become that person. It is a balancing act. With friends, school, work, family and a social life, some things are bound to fall out of balance. Just remember to not let the balance fall for too long that you can’t learn to add it back to the mix.
Most of the time, when I write, I feel like I am writing to a past version of myself, the me that felt the world was crumbling every time I said the wrong thing and then dwelled on it for the next three days. To that past me I’d like to say: it’s all about perspective.
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