Through a lifetime, one will encounter a vast amount of individuals that will alter the way one experiences their life, whether for better or for worse. In reflecting on individuals who have had such a remarkable impact on my life as to merit recognition and acknowledgment, a single person immediately comes to mind: my mother. In honor of Women’s History Month, it is important to appreciate the women in times past and society present whose contributions in life have created lasting impact and guidance. So, in this celebration of the strongest of women, I would like to take this time to reflect on what the most remarkable woman of my life has taught me.
In a world of harsh words and even harsher people, women are often subjected to subtle cruelties unknown and unthinkable to men. The plight of women is seemingly unchanging even as time progresses, issues of misogyny and inequality remaining steadfast and prominent rising afloat to present-day and leaving women everywhere to drown in its wake. To look towards a man you consider nothing more than an equal only to find society is willing to praise him over nothing more than the fact that he is a man and I am not? It’s a discouraging thing that I and every other woman have the displeasure of experiencing.
And yet, I look to my mother and wonder if such disparities even dare affect her. A silly thought, as they most definitely do, but with the firmness of her actions and the natural feelings of respect she elicits from all that have the pleasure of knowing her, you would think so too upon meeting her. At times when my father would reprimand me for my unrelenting stubbornness, my inability to admit defeat or simply back down, I look to my mother and see the same traits he discourages in me, yet more refined and definitely more respectable. My mother speaks in the same tone as I do, she says the same words that I do, and yet when they come out of her mouth, others listen. It is impossible to even keep from listening because the stage my mother has placed herself calls for a sense of admiration that the audience can’t help but give. My pride runs deep, so much so to a point where it evokes conflict with men and other authority figures with its inability to coincide with their idea of a blind following. Where fathers, professors and partners see an unworthy emotion encapsulating tones of selfishness and arrogance, I look to my mother and I know our pride is not worthless, nor is it as low as others view it.
My mother’s pride is rooted in her skill and her experience, hand-in-hand with her confidence and personal knowledge. In a situation where you are right, you do not concede yourself to an opponent who cannot respect your words and truth. Instead, you must make it known you are the victor whose words reign true, you make yourself known and earn the respect. While I assumed I had been attempting at this previously, my mother’s and I’s situations diverged at the issue of expertise and knowledgeability. Whereas my words are often viewed as frivolous and wasteful, my mother’s many years of living and building rapport with those around her give her the much-needed sense of credibility and respect that I so desperately lack. I look to my mother, and she has taught me that a woman can speak her mind whenever, wherever. But to successfully create meaning and hold influence over the thoughts of others, you must first create meaning for yourself in the eyes of others, and then you must secondly believe in the truth and importance of your words beyond the doubts of others.
Credibility and respect are not new notions to me, but seeing my mother live unapologetically so and remain legitimate in the eyes of others, she is my everlasting reminder to live with patience in building respect. She is a reminder that even if it takes an entire lifetime, the unwavering establishment of one’s presence and ideas in the minds of others will always be worth the tribulations it took to get there because having respect, power and the ability to make change is unmatched by all hardships. She has taught me to never doubt myself or my words, and to understand that it is my worthless pride and the need it has to be heard that will ultimately drive me the furthest. Facing the tide of bitterness and non-acceptance from others, I will be a mountain unmoving as she has been all these years. I will build my stage and I will stand tall, for it is what the strongest woman I know has taught me.
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