*Her Campus FSU does not promote illegal behavior and encourages all students to make smart, healthy decisions. This article does not represent the views of Her Campus FSU.
Welcome to the latest in relationships, sex, love and dating. Introducing, “The Scoop with Szmuc” (Smook) and no, that’s not pronounced schmuck. Every week we’re giving our readers an opportunity to send in their questions to Her Campus FSU staff writer and relationship guru Sharon Szmuc relating to the theme of the week. This week, Sharon discusses all things first dates.
We begin to think of Blink 182’s song “First Date” and no better song can describe the feeling a first date gives us. What do we wear? Is it cool that we hold their hand? Do we go in for the first kiss? Do we make them walk us to the door? In the culture we live in, Netflix and Chill counts as a first date, studying for that business calc exam until 3 a.m. might also count as a first date or if you are meeting them for the first time and they’re 500 miles away – it’s safe to say that a FaceTime session counts as a first date. Now, usually I would suggest to get a wax, put on your sexiest outfit and doll yourself up, but for first dates we need to tone down the Tallanasty style and turn to the Tallaclassy girls we all are. No worries, Valentine’s Day season is over and you’re not the only one who’s Saturday night Recess guy asked her out on a date. Plenty of girls apparently found their men out at the club and through the horny season of February. Maybe you can all double date?
Cassandra K., 19*
I recently met this guy on Tinder, but we haven’t met yet. He keeps trying to make plans but I’ve been pretty busy. I am also kind of nervous to officially meet him and go on our first date, because for now I really like him. What if we find out on the first date that we aren’t a good match?
Dear Cassandra,
I know that first dates can be scary especially since we fall in love with someone through the other side of an iPhone screen before even knowing what their cologne smells like. But if you keep messaging Tinder boy non-stop and according to his five photos he has to-die-for abs, loves puppies, is a SigEp, and from Miami, then on the bright side, you now know a few things to talk about with him when you do officially meet. If you swiped right, then you might as well put on your big girl panties and go on a date with him. The worst thing that can happen is that you find out he is your exact height so you can’t wear heels around him—or that he’s going to vote for Donald Trump while you’d rather “Feel the Bern.” Remember, one first date does not define a long-term relationship. You’re single because you can continue to swipe left and right, have fro-yo on Tuesday with one guy and Chipotle on Thursday with another guy. So, first dates just mean more experience to learn how to talk to the guy that one day will put a ring on it.
Go on the first date, be yourself (I mean, please do not tell him that you still watch reruns of Lizzie McGuire whenever you’re bored) and don’t overthink. Nothing in life is meant to go the way we plan it, not even first dates. So if you spill some tomato sauce on your white blouse, don’t sweat it. If you get oregano stuck in your teeth, don’t sweat it. In the end, if he called you back for a second date and swiped right on you in the first place, it’s because he liked you for your spunky personality (and maybe because he loves photo 3 of your Tinder profile in which you’re rocking that blue bikini).
–Sharon
Daryn, H.,* 21
I just went on a first date the other day and we started to open up about our past. I am someone that would rather be honest than lie, so I told him of all the guys I had hooked up with and the date got weird after that. At times there was awkward silence and no deep connection. But through text we talk non-stop and the conversation flows. How do I make small talk better in person? Are there some topics I shouldn’t say to him just yet?
Dear Daryn,
If he keeps texting you after the first date he must be thinking the same thing as you. He must be wondering why you guys have such a connection via text but not in person. On the bright side, you didn’t f*ck up the first date completely if you’re still texting. It’s always easier for some people (especially liberal arts majors) to express themselves through writing than in person. He might have been overthinking the entire date and didn’t want to say the wrong thing. If the conversation got weird after you brought up the amount of guys you’ve been with it could mean many things: for one he could be a virgin and is a little intimated (I doubt it), he could be ashamed that he actually got with twice as many girls than you did guys but wants to come off as a relationship guy, or he could be wondering if you’re the relationship type, too.
Next time you do hangout in person: do not bring up any guys in general (especially your ex because you probably don’t want to hear about his past relationships either). Do bring up memories with your friends, your favorite college memory, your favorite restaurants in Tally, what you hope to do after graduation, and even play a fun game of twenty questions. If it’s still awkward in person, give it a couple more dates. If by the third date the small talk fails and not even talking about how gross pickles and sloths are then maybe it’s not meant to work out. On the bright side, every guy we date should be like an audition. Not all guys get a call back but it gives us more confidence for when Mr. Right does show up—that date should be a walk in the park (or in his pants—just kidding)!
For next week’s theme, Her Campus FSU Staff Writer Lauren Pleasants will be taking over Sharon’s column to answer questions and hear your experience about coming out. Submit your questions to hercampusfsu1@gmail.com stating your first name, last name, first initial and age by midnight this Thursday, Feb. 18. If you would like to be published anonymously, we can do that as well. Just ask when you submit! The first three people to submit questions will receive a free beauty product. Remember, girls and guys are encouraged to send in questions, so step out of your comfort zone and ask away!
*Names have been changed to protect identity