Coming out is a lot. For so many people, it’s a time filled with anxiety, fear and a wide range of other emotions. While this experience is one that is unique to the LGBTQ+ community, it varies so greatly from person to person. No two stories are ever exactly alike and often the story of coming out is ongoing.
I grew up in a pretty liberal household. My parents were always very accepting of other people, no matter their gender or sexual orientation. I was never taught to fear or look down upon those who didn’t fit societal norms. Similarly, my friends were open-minded when it came to things like the LGBTQ+ community and I even had multiple friends that were a part of the community. I have also been a pretty open book most of my life. I am more likely to overshare than to hide something, so then when I began to figure out that I wasn’t so straight as I once believed, I started to worry. I knew deep down that those around me loved and supported me no matter what, but that didn’t take away the stress of me being different. I would still have to express to them at some point that I wasn’t straight.
Slowly, I started to come out, but coming out wasn’t a one-time thing like it’s so often portrayed in the media. Coming out started to feel more like a repetitive chore rather than a celebration of who I am. I understand that I am quite lucky to be able to say it felt like a chore because so many people are forced to hide who they are, but at the same time, why should anyone have to come out? No straight or cis-gendered person ever has to come out. I quickly realized this cycle of sitting down with a person, waiting for the right moment to say something and then actually telling them who I was was not really working for me.
Eventually, I decided that I was no longer going to force coming out upon myself. I was no longer trying to force the narrative that coming out has to be some serious sit-down discussion. If it happened to come up in conversation with someone, sure, I would tell them, but I was no longer going to go into a conversation with the intent of coming out. When I had done that in the past, it almost never went how I wanted it to go. There was almost always some crude joke like, “That’s hot,” or “So does that mean you’re down for a threesome?” or there was a stupid comment that completely missed the point. On the rare occasion it did go well, I still spent weeks or months in advance stressing and dreading the talk.
Another part of my ever-growing coming out story is this article right here. While I’m sure some of you reading this have no clue who I am, I’m also sure that many of you do. For those of you that do know me, here it is. I am bisexual.
Coming out means so many different things to different people. Coming out should be whatever you want it to be. Never let anyone try to force you or make you believe that coming out has to be a certain way. Coming out is about you and you alone, so you do it on your own time and however you’d like.
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