I grew up in a male dominated household- three older brothers, a father and even a dog. Growing up, I never once doubted their actions towards me, my mom or other women. Their actions spoke milestones, and for that I am forever thankful. They taught me important life lessons that no one else could’ve. They taught me to value myself, to demand respect, to care for myself and to offer my support to others as well. Through them I’ve known, “This is it, this is true love. This is respect. That is what it means to be a man.”
So, much to my surprise, as I got older and my naĂŻve tendencies faded, I soon realized that many guys do not share the characteristics I associated with maturity and manhood. Being in college and surrounded by so many girls my age, I’ve realized I am not the only one who has had bad encounters.Â
You ask most college aged women about their love life and a lot of them will respond with “it’s complicated.” Why? Why is it that so many girls spend nights pondering over a guy who flip-flops around their relationship? Why are girls doubting their own self-worth because of a guy who can’t commit?
To all the girls who have spent nights locked up in their bedrooms too afraid to speak up and ask for advice, realize that if a guy makes you question your own integrity, he is not a man.
A man will make you feel like you can conquer anything, not as though you’re going to crumble without him by your side.
A man will not make you doubt your relationship. No, “What are we?, What are we doing? What is this?”
A man takes you into consideration when making important decisions and will not leave you picking up the pieces.
A man values your company and does not make it seem like an effort to be with you.
A man accepts you for who you are, not for who you’re not.
To all the girls currently struggling with any boy issues, take a step back. Look up to the men in your life, your friends, your brothers, your uncles, your father. See the difference? Take the time to value yourself and don’t let any boy eclipse what you want out of life.
And to the men that shaped me into who I am today, thank you.