Ladies, we need to step it up! Our expectations have reached an all-time low, and we all know it. Nowadays, we praise men when they text us goodnight or ask us about our day when these acts are only the bare minimum. Seriously ladies, when was the last time you have been asked out on a real date? When was the last time have you received a phone call instead of a lousy Snapchat selfie from your man? I am done with it, and so should you. It is time we took charge and date men that actually deserve us. Trust me, I have been there. I know how disappointing it is to follow your heart only to realize that you let your emotions override the harsh reality that you can do so much better. We can all do so much better! Stop simping for Chad in Apple Chi Beta who only reaches out to see you on a Saturday night at 2 a.m. only because he is intoxicated and lonely. In a world full of Chad’s, women are continuously let down. So, let’s stop settling and know our worth. Below are six sure signs that you are settling in your relationship. If these signs are all too familiar, you know what to do.
1. You are third to his Xbox and his bros.
Sadly, ranking third is something most of us girls have come to accept time and time again. In past relationships, I have more common than not felt like an option instead of a priority, which is frustrating, to say the least. With fears of coming off as a nagging, attention-seeking girlfriend, women often stay silent in hopes that things will one day change. Newsflash, things won’t change unless you confront him.
Just like any guy, I love spending time with my friends. Though I do not understand the hype of playing Fortnite and cracking a cold one open with the boys, I love shopping and binging America’s Next Top Model with my girls. Men, we don’t want you to stop hanging with the boys. We just wish you would put the same effort and time into your girlfriend as well.
2. He’s more worried about holding down the sofa than a job.
If you are dating the mayor of Lazy Town, I highly suggest that you reevaluate. I don’t know about you, but laziness is personally my biggest turn-off. As a woman who is very passionate and works towards her career, I want a man who is on that same wavelength. Whether it’s a job, schoolwork or hobby, he should have something productive going on in his life.
Though some men only have a couch-potato phase, keep in mind that this phase can easily become a lifestyle. Think about what the future would hold with this person. Having a lazy husband is like having another child. Ladies, I know that is not what we want.
3. He wants to showcase the trophy but refuses to give the relationship a title.
For over five months, you have been seeing Chad in hopes that he will finally make you his girlfriend. He invites you to fraternity parties and shows you off to his friends and tells you how special you are. All of this time, you thought Chad was nervous about getting into a relationship when in reality Chad knows what he is doing. Chad never had intentions of making you his girlfriend. Like many other men, Chad wants to have all of the perks of having a “girlfriend” without actually putting in the time and effort of a relationship. Essentially, he has his cake and is eating it too.
I understand getting to know someone before jumping into a relationship, especially if you have recently met this guy. But, once an extensive period of time has passed and he still has not put a title on it… he was never planning to in the first place.
4. He’s way too self-absorbed to notice your struggles.
At first, you think he is just confident. I mean, who doesn’t love a guy that is confident in himself. But there is a fine line between confident and self-absorbed. The more you get to know him, you begin to realize that he has a massive ego. Every conversation must be centered around him. When making plans, it is all about what is convenient for him and his schedule. He constantly makes excuses because God forbid, he ever takes accountability for something. Men like this are so focused on themselves that their minds leave little room to think of you and your needs.
Self-absorbed men also have issues when it comes to putting themselves into our shoes. Their fragile ego blinds them from seeing anything from your perspective. They make sure to tell you that you are the one being out of line by saying something like “Don’t take it personal. I’m just busy.” And yes, this is actually a text that I have received from one of the many Chad’s that I have dated. Instead of recognizing the issue and working through it together, these men are quick to get defensive. Take it from me, this is not someone you want to be your future spouse.
5. He’s a total flake.
Instead of using a more explicit term, my mom and I have always used the word “flake” to describe the guy who is all talk and no action. There are only so many empty promises that a woman can take. With a flake, you might as well not even try to make plans with them because something always comes up. I do think there is a huge difference between genuinely having a busy schedule versus putting your girlfriend on the backburner until it is convenient for you.
“I promise I’ll do better.” “I’m sorry, I just got busy and forgot.” “Next time, I swear I’ll come.” It’s okay to hear these phrases every now and then, but when these consistently come out of his mouth…it may be time to cut your losses.
6. He thinks Snapchat is an adult form of communication.
When I was 15 years old, I would not have minded communicating with my boyfriend only over Snapchat. How serious can a relationship really be as a freshman in high school? But as a 19-year-old woman, it is safe to say I’d rather a man ask for my phone number over my Snapchat. Though Snapchat can be good for getting to know someone, it often gives off the vibe that this person is only looking for something temporary and casual. But, if you are actually working towards a relationship with someone, and after months of talking, he still only contacts you through this app, it is safe to say that he doesn’t think of your relationship as being serious.
If this article spoke to you, I suggest you listen to the wise words of Beyonce and “tell him boy bye.” Know your worth by no longer settling for a “Chad.”
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