When J. Cole released his fourth studio album, 2014 Forest Hills Drive, saying that my 7th grade self was excited is a HUGE understatement. I had the album on repeat for weeks. The songs on this record convey J. Cole’s story from living in a multi-ethnic, poorer area in North Carolina to his now seemingly lavish life filled with fame and fortune. One of the final tracks on the album, the song that encompasses his overall message, is “Love Yourz.” There he discusses how despite the money and fame he acquired through his music, he was still miserable because he wasn’t surrounded by what really mattered. Throughout the song, he reiterates the line, “No such thing as a life that’s better than yours,” and while I sang along to those lyrics countless times, I did not fully connect to the weight of his words until a year and a half later.
In the summer of 2016, my family and I took a 2 week long trip to the Philippines–my first time back since I moved to The United States when I was 4. When we arrived in Manila, the capital of the country, it seemed as if I had traveled to another dimension. Suddenly, I was in a place where everyone looked like me–a place where I was no longer the minority. The city was flooded with tall buildings that closely resembled the New York City skyline. There were malls that were five stories high, people constantly walking on the streets, and there was a beautiful bay that was walking distance away. Manila was a dream that I never wanted to wake up from. However, we were only there for the first week.
On the second week of our trip, my family and I took a long bus ride to Cabugao to stay with some family members. Unlike Manila, Cabugao is a much poorer region. When we arrived at my aunt’s house, or my “tita” as I call her, I quickly realized how different my life in the U.S. is from her and her family. Not only were there 9 people living in a 3 bedroom house, but there was no air conditioning, no high speed internet, and all their food was rationed out so everyone could eat. Their shower consisted of a large garbage bin filled with cold water and a bucket to pour the water and wash themselves with.
Hearing all of this information, it can be easy to pity them. However, the longer I stayed with my family the more I actually started to envy them because despite all of their hardships they were the happiest people I had ever met. They did not care that that was how they lived because that is all they knew, and where they lacked in economic funds, they strived in happiness, hope, and love. They were surrounded by people who cared for them, and at the end of the day that is all that really matters.
That trip gave me a whole new perspective on my values. So when I listened to “Love Yourz” on the plane ride back home, lyrics such as, “For what’s money without happiness? Or hard times without the people you love,” took on a completely different meaning. I have learned that there really is no such thing as a life that is better than mine, and that the key to being happy is not having a successful job or a big friend group, but rather appreciating what you have–to love what is yours.