Hello, my name is Hadley Hudson, and I am an only child. When I tell others this, I am often met with a pointed remark about how I must possess some pretty negative qualities. Since I grew up without siblings, I must be spoiled, selfish, attention-seeking, and bossy. Spoiler alert: I can be all of these things. I think that most people could say the same thing, even those with a tribe of siblings.
Being born into what seemed like a predisposition to have all of these terrible characteristics, seemed a huge injustice.Â
Growing up, I quickly learned to feel ashamed of my only child status. Thus, I attempted to be the opposite of the stereotyped only child. I tried to be accommodating, content with remaining in the background, and non-argumentative.
In doing so, I felt that I lost a part of myself. I was so accommodating that I never got what I wanted. I became too eager to remain in the background, and I grew to be non-confrontational to the point of allowing others to walk all over me.Â
I was so concerned with being too much that I found comfort in allowing myself to feel small.
Ironically, I have spent the past few years trying to gain the stereotypical characteristics of an only child. I am working to be more opinionated, assertive, and confrontational. Those closest to me would laugh as they know how difficult it is for me to speak up in the midst of conflict. I still have much to work on, but I am proud of the growth I have made thus far. Â
Lately, I have come to be appreciative of being an only child. In fact, I believe that being an only child has played a large role in shaping who I am today.
I never had a sibling to lean on for guidance or assistance. Therefore, I had to learn hard lessons by making mistakes for myself. I also had to learn to process and navigate my own feelings without a sibling to confide in.Â
It sounds lonely, I know. However, being an only child has made me strong on my own. Rather than detest periods of alone time, I have actually learned to enjoy the peacefulness. I have been fortunate to have a very close relationship with my parents, who have always gone above and beyond to be there for me.
Of course there have been times where I wished I had the companionship of a brother or sister, but I have grown to be comfortable with my being an only child. My family might be smaller than some, but it has just as much love.