My move-in day at GCU was a blur, from pulling onto campus, to turning the key in my door for the first time, to attending my freshman orientation. One thing I will remember forever was opening the door to find my roommate standing in our common area. She greeted me with a smile and welcomed me in. My first impression was that she was so nice. Then she said, “I was just planning to go on a walk but feel free to call me if you need anything!” She was trying to give me the space I needed to move in. In the following weeks, these walks would come to be a regular occurrence. As every freshman living in a new state, with complete strangers during the first week of college, my natural conclusion was, shoot, this girl hates me. Turns out she doesn’t, she just might have ADHD. I have no license to diagnose her so take this as it is, a joke between roommates. That being said, the disparity in ADHD diagnosis from men to women is astounding.
On average, males are diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 7. This contrasts with females, who are not generally diagnosed until they are in their 30s and 40s. Boys are also 3 times more likely to be diagnosed in adolescent years even though studies show an equal number of women have ADHD in adulthood. This means that two in every three women with ADHD go the better part of their life undiagnosed. The theory is that this is due to societal and cultural stereotypes imposed on girls at a young age. Those girls work overtime their whole lives to mask their symptoms and fit the ideal they believe they need to achieve to be accepted as feminine women. Another factor is research on ADHD has been largely based on adolescent boys, because it was originally thought to be a childhood disorder. The more studies conducted, the more this idea has been disproven. People do not grow out of ADHD and due to male-centered studies, researchers have missed the differences in symptoms that females exhibit. The largest difference is that females tend to be classified with inattentive traits which contrasts with males typically having hyperactive and impulsive traits.
ADHD symptoms in women tend to appear more internalized, which makes it more difficult to spot. One such trait is lower self-esteem which can be linked to girls being told there is something wrong with them for not meeting what society views as normal. For the same reason, many also struggle to create relationships and are at an increased risk for anxiety disorders, depression, and eating disorders. These women may find it difficult to meet societal ideals because women with ADHD struggle with prolonged focus, attentiveness, planning steps, organization, schedules, memory, impulsivity, prioritization, and being easily distracted. There have also been study results showing that symptoms become more prevalent with hormone spikes such as pregnancy, ovulation, and menopause. This could be a reason ADHD in females is caught later in life once they begin to pick up on these symptoms.
The bottom line is that there is still a lot to be learned relating to diagnosing women with ADHD. In the case of my roommate, she does not have a diagnosis, but statistically, this does not mean she never will. I honestly would have never known she struggled with organization or task orientation from those initial weeks. As our friendship developed I began to see that we could not study together, because even if I was focused she would be distracted by my presence. She almost never plans, she just sort of goes for things when they come up, which is honestly one of my favorite things about her. She commonly will set down her water bottle, keys, or phone and then later forget and leave them. This again is common for those with ADHD; they will forget where they put things or that they even put them down. However, I will never know how hard she is working to mask other signs of struggles with attention.
I cannot stress enough that I am not licensed to diagnose anyone, however I can encourage anyone who notices signs of ADHD in their life to advocate for themself and seek out answers. If you relate to these feelings of struggling to meet social ideals of femininity, there is nothing wrong with you; it is ok to be unorganized, it is ok to live life in the moment avoiding plans, and it is ok to struggle with locking in on an assignment. The important part is knowing these tendencies in your life and working with them, rather than trying to work against them. Only you know how deep these traits affect you, which is why it is important to know the signs and statistics, so you can recognize them in yourself even when others may not see it for you. Regardless of what you decide to do, if you think you have ADHD, or if you are just struggling to push through on a project, I want to assure you I am proud of you simply for being you today.