“So is there a guy in your life right now?” I cringed as the word “guy” left her mouth and then I let out an annoyed laugh. This seems to be one of the top questions single girls get asked on a Christian college campus. I could be wrong, but I really don’t think so. It’s as if graduating college and being single is the worst thing that could happen to you. “Ring by spring” is the norm, leaving the single ladies feeling left out and desperate for any guy who shows the slightest amount of interest in them. Some people act like it shouldn’t be so hard to find a guy to marry because we’re on a campus of several thousand students. Finding a like-minded guy can’t be that hard, right? Wrong! Okay, enough of this. Let’s have a fierce conversation.
Those longings for companionship arise and loneliness sets in, but that doesn’t mean we should treat singleness as the bane of our existence. People who are dating or married haven’t reached the pinnacle of human greatness just because they’re not “alone” anymore. Sometimes marrying the wrong person can make you feel more alone than being single. Since I’m on this topic of non-single people, I need to spotlight a real problem: Some Christian writers, who aren’t single, write articles and books about how great singleness is – this needs to stop. Why? Because they can no longer relate to people who are single. I’m not saying that people who are dating or married don’t have good advice, but they shouldn’t be devoting so much time to thinking and writing about singleness. They’ve passed that time and need to focus on maintaining the relationship they’re in. Spending so much time on singleness makes it seem like they wish they were single again because they constantly talk about how wonderful it is.
What I just wrote in the above paragraph probably makes me sound incredibly bitter.
Quite the opposite is true. I want to get married someday and have a family. I want a God-honoring marriage and to raise my kids in the way of the Lord. But you know what? If not, God is still good. He has an amazing plan for my single years and I’m looking forward to glorifying Him during this time and for the rest of my life. The struggle is way too real and sometimes it sucks being single because everyone around you has their “person” and you’re left twiddling your thumbs or third-wheeling (or fifth-wheeling – even better!). Don’t worry or fret, sister, because if and when God does bring that man into your life, you’ll truly appreciate him and all his wonderfulness. Remember Psalm 13:5-6 as you walk in faithfulness to God and you will not be disappointed: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.”