My mom has always coined me by my brutal honesty. I remember as a kid my mom would get upset with the driver in front of her and I would give her a full synopsis of what actually happened. The tiny voice from the back saying, “well mom they did use their turn signal.” It has always been in my nature to share my honest opinion of a situation. It has proven to be my greatest gift and downfall in every aspect of my life. It allows me to write and relate with people, in spaces such as Her Campus, through an honest depiction of my life. But honestly, it hurts me in a lot of spaces too. I share my opinions before fully processing them and it often hurts the people I love around me. I struggle to keep a hold on my tongue. On the other hand, I think I have given in to the temptation to be passive in many of my friendships. I let things slide by that bothered me because I thought it was the nice thing to do. It also hurts something inside of me when I do not allow my soul to be authentic, in which it so desperately desires. It feels like I am not true to myself. While I recognize that my extreme honesty is not always the way to go, I do believe that there is a need for more honesty in the world and in my life for that matter. I believe that there is a balance in this.
We have lost true honesty in the world. That being said, I do not think people pursue living dishonestly but so often they fall into it because it is the way of the world. It is more polite to say that you are too busy then to say you do not really want to hang out with someone. We often let people walk all over us instead of being honest with our feelings. On the other hand, some people are brutally honest without understanding that words hurt. There is a fine line.
We need to recognize that words have power. How things are phrased affects people. A snappy comment in an argument can shift your friendship forever. While watching your tongue is important, I do not think it is a concept that is hard to grasp. Kindergarteners are taught the same message of kindness. I believe society has a harder time with not being honest rather than being overly honest. There truly does not seem to be a lot of temptation to want to change how honest we are with people. It makes friendships easier and not hanging out with someone you do not want to a lot easier too. Overtime this makes our relationships lukewarm. Never having honest conversations leads to loneliness and pent up anger in relationships. I believe starting to live in honesty in your friendships starts with being real with your feelings. When something they do bothers you, say something because chances are they truly did not mean it the way it was interpreted. The hard part is that some people do not want to be real and I promise you there are people out there that will. Being a friend takes a lot of work and there are people that are willing to do so. I am still learning the balance of honesty. How to be real while not being harmful in friendships. It takes time, but at the end of the day it is worth it to have people that stick around for the real stuff.Â
