Hello my name is Tatum, a 19 year old Design and Advertising student and I have come to the mind-boggling conclusion that I am not special. More specifically my art is not special. I do not possess natural abilities in design that shock people. I do not have the best penmanship. My handwriting has always had a slight slant to it. This realization has truly led me to a quarter life crisis in regard to my future career. It has left me feeling like a fraud. The girl with the design major that does not even have art that stands out. What the heck am I doing with my life then? If I am not talented, why am I in this major? Why am I choosing this career? My creativity is constantly called into question by my own self-doubt.
Maybe you too, fellow creative, have found yourself in this position. Feeling like you are not good enough at creating. That everyone else seems to have it figured out but you. But what if this realization of the skills you lack is actually your strength. What if you stopped comparing yourself to everyone else’s work and started cultivating your own? What if I owned the fact I write on a slant and made it my signature move? The places where you fall short is actually what sets you apart. When you spend so much time trying too hard to hide your imperfections, your art no longer becomes an expression of you. It becomes a cookie-cutter model of every other person out there. The more I process this information and look elsewhere, I have come to the conclusion that this may just be the life of the creative. Creating, feeling great about it, then feeling like you possess absolutely no talent, and then the cycle continues.
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Let’s face it, it is not fun to admit the areas where you lack. It is often painful. This though, is where you grow. When you learn where you lack, you also learn where you succeed. It puts you in the position to ask questions and learn the things you do not know. I have learned that this grueling process is truly how you find your creative voice. So, embrace the insecurities, wrestle with the doubts you have about your abilities and learn who you are.
Congratulations, you are not wildly unique. While this statement is slightly depressing, it is also comforting. You do not have to stand out due to your artistic abilities. Maybe you do not measure up to the people you compare yourself to on a daily basis; but, what if it is because you were never meant to? This feeling of un-specialness should inspire, not inhibit us. It takes the pressure of perfection away. You have permission to be really bad at something. Like realllllyyyy bad. Go paint, mold clay, or draw. Maybe you are not the next Picasso, but maybe you will find out you can make the prettiest clay earrings. Challenge yourself to realize that you may not be that special.