There is no doubt that long-distance is hard, but it definitely will put you in a place to grow and learn from the person you are with. My now boyfriend currently goes to school in California and is from Arizona, but I am from Tennessee and go to college in Arizona. We are 2,060 miles away from each other one moment, or 460 miles away another, just depending on if we are home or in school. My point is we are always far away from each other and it has put me in a place I never thought I would be, but I would honestly not change it for the world. I turned a situationship into a long-distance relationship and here is how I did it.Â
Consistency Does Not Mean Constantly
One of the most important aspects of maintaining any relationship, long-distance or not, is consistency. Being consistent with each other on when to communicate or other priorities is essential for a long-lasting relationship. It proves both people’s integrity and gives your partner an expectation that upholds the relationship. This does not mean constantly talking all the time or doing things together all the time. For some, that is what they prefer, but not me personally. For instance, I work three jobs and go to school, while my boyfriend plays a college sport and has to study. We are busy people and have no time to be able to talk to one another constantly. However, we do stick to a routine and that consistent routine is one thing long-distance relationships must have to maintain their romance. For me, I can always expect a call from my boyfriend around 9-10 pm every night before bed, whether we have texted a lot during the day or not.Â
Communication is EVERYTHING
This would be another crucial aspect of all relationships, but especially the long-distance ones. I know you hear it all the time, but long-distance will put your relationship to the test on both partners’ communication skills. It is so important to make time to communicate one another’s needs, intentions, and values. When you’re not physically present, the only type of intimacy you can build is emotional. By doing so, you will learn to negotiate and grow in your relationship by learning new things about each other every day. If you ever feel like you are running out of things to talk about, try a card game like “We’re Not Really Strangers” or questions online. I love the Ours Wellness banter cards because you can access them online for free and they have a range of emotional depth depending on your mood.
Be Creative
I think all people in long-distance relationships can agree it is much easier to go out together and make plans in person. However, long distances will force both people to be creative in how to do date nights. I urge those of you in long-distance relationships to embrace what you do have access to and get out of your comfort zone so that the distance sucks a little less. For example, there are a lot of platforms out there for video chat (which I find to be the best way to communicate) that allow couples to watch movies together or share screens. My boyfriend does not own an Apple device so we use Google Meets to watch movies on Netflix or we play board games on a free website. Another creative idea could be to play Minecraft together, create vision boards, DoorDash food, or deliver flowers through an online order to keep up the spark from far away.
Have Trust and Faith in Each Other
If there is one thing you can take away from this article, it is that trust for both partners is essential for long-distance to stay alive. When you are far away from your partner, you are not going to see or have the possibility to be there for everything that they are doing. Therefore, people with trust issues should be reassured by the other numerous times (emphasis on the communication part) and work on having faith that the person you are with is still choosing you in your absence. It will give both people peace of mind in trusting that both of you will do the right thing if a risky situation comes up and will communicate what happens if it does. When you trust one another, the anxiety of long-distance doesn’t even matter because you believe you chose to be with someone for the right reasons. Remind yourself why you are dating them and trust them for their word until they prove you wrong. Otherwise, you will be sitting there worrying for nothing, and the worst-case scenarios will only be in your head. Lastly, have enough confidence in yourself that if something in long-distance does go wrong, it is their loss and they can see how they lost the best thing that will ever happen to them.
Look Forward to Visits and Cherish Those Moments
The last tip is to continuously plan when to see each other next because it will always give both of you something to look forward to. It is an investment to plan trips, so keep that in mind, but know that a relationship in general is both an emotional and physical investment. Then, when you can finally be with them and spend time in person, cherish every single moment you have. Long-distance will make you appreciate the little mundane moments and the big exciting ones because both of you know you don’t get that opportunity often. I always say that distance makes the heart grow fonder because it really does. When you barely get the chance to see the person you are dating, it only makes your time together more worthwhile.Â
To wrap this up, I hope you can take away a few tips and tricks I have found to benefit my relationship tremendously. In the end, I hope this helps those of you in long-distance relationships, like me, make the distance a little easier.