No matter what your relationship with your parents and your family looks like, with our current culture and its ever-so-opinionated stances on where you should be in your life, living at home in your 20s is bound to suck at least a little bit. While it may not be the easiest thing you’ve ever done, there is likely a good reason you are where you are. While outside pressures may make you feel otherwise, there is literally nothing wrong with that. This isn’t another one of those articles that’s here to tell you “everyone has a different path”, or “it won’t last forever.” We’ve all heard those already. While objectively these statements may be true, it isn’t always what you’re needing to hear in this season of your life. If this is something you’re dealing with, or you’re even just simply dreading returning home for the summer, here are some of my personal tips for making living at home as an adult a bit easier on yourself.
Establish Boundaries
While this may be the hardest one on this list, I believe it is easily the most important. As an adult, it is now your responsibility to stand up for yourself and decide what you are okay with and what you’re not – within reason, of course. This one can be hard, especially if the whole “living at home” thing is being held against you. But you need to be honest and open with your family about what can be done to make this situation best for everyone involved, not just them and not just you. Sacrifices are expected to be made by both parties. However, just because you are living at home, that does not mean you aren’t allowed your own personal boundaries and respect as an adult.
Live in the moment
If living at home is a more temporary arrangement to push you into a greater path down the road, it can become so easy to focus on what is to come instead of looking at what is right in front of you. It’s your 20s! Don’t let that pass by in hopes that you will soon get to a different place. Every season of life is one to create memorable moments, spend time with the people you care about, and grow as an individual. You are not limited to what your future self may end up doing. You owe your present self the joy of living where you are, and not letting those good moments pass you by. Go out with friends. Focus on that big personal project. Start that new hobby. You never know what you are capable of here and now.
Recognize your worth
From personal experience, I know how easy it is to beat yourself up when things aren’t going the way you hoped, or you’re just simply having a hard time. The media doesn’t make it easy on us; it places expectations on where you should be in your career, relationships, friendships, and literally anything else you could possibly think of. It is so hard to put those false expectations out of your mind and off of yourself, but you can’t let yourself believe them forever. Chances are you have many capabilities that you’re selling yourself short of. Letting your living situation dictate your self-image is unfair to yourself, and allows a dangerous self-narrative to creep in. Living at home is a great time to figure out who you are, and it gives you plenty of opportunities to really hone in on your unique skill sets that you might have not found had you not been where you are.
I know it isn’t easy, but not everything is going to be. It is the more difficult conditions that allow us to grow. Your 20s are not passing you by just because you’re not living on a college campus or in an apartment of your own. It might not feel the same, but you have the ultimate say in how you view this situation. This could be exactly what you need, and that is so much more than okay regardless of what anyone else your age is up to.