First and foremost, my best friend got married on September 27th, and the whole thing was perfect. Her wedding was as much fun as I knew it would be, and I couldn’t have been more honored to have a role in her big day.
The transition from wedding guest to bridesmaid was mind-boggling. Having not been in this position before, I was lost about the duties I had to fulfill on the big day. I was excited, overwhelmed, and every other emotion in between. Being part of the wedding party is a big deal, and I was fully prepared to make this a lasting core memory.
Standing beside my friend, tears streaming down my face, I thought about how crazy it was that I was part of the wedding party. I’ve been to six weddings before and have always been a guest. Now, as I’m growing up, I have to realize that I might be asked to take on more responsibility by being part of the inner circle.
These are the 4 things I wish I had told myself the morning of to help things go smoother.
1. Be overly prepared.
I want to start by saying that I am a type A person, but of course, on one of the most important days I have been a part of, I was all over the place. I had a good portion of my makeup packed with me the night before, but when I opened up my bag to get ready, many of my everyday essentials were nowhere to be found. It wasn’t until I got home that I saw my bronzer and setting powder sitting nicely and neatly on my counter. I advise taking a breath and doing a quadruple check for anything you will pack.
Another thing to take note of is the weather. September in Arizona is tricky; there’s always a week you think fall is coming, and then it goes back up to triple digits. For this instance, I advise any new bridesmaid to make sure they plan for the weather. Knowing ahead of time will help you with makeup and how to style your hair for the bridesmaid and bride alike.
Another important tip is to ensure you have a mini emergency kit that you carry. You can make the kit yourself or buy one that comes pre-made. As long as the kit includes double-sided tape, bandaids, a mini sewing kit, and stain remover, you’ll be prepared for anything that happens.
2. Try to get your shoes early on — preferably two weeks before the wedding.
This goes hand in hand with being prepared, but I think it’s more important and deserves its own section. I don’t think everyone considers shoes crucial until a few days before the wedding. As a guest, I typically decided which shoes I would wear the night before, a habit I definitely should have changed when becoming a bridesmaid. I decided to get my shoes a week before, but I trusted myself enough and decided not to practice wearing them even though I hadn’t worn heels in about two years. The day of the wedding arrived, and I was feeling confident at the hotel until we got to the ceremony, and I walked onto the dirt leading up to the beautiful pavilion where my best friend and her now husband would stand. My four-inch, open-toed, brand spanking new heels were probably not the best option, but my motto that day was “beauty is pain.”
I would have done so many things differently. The first would have been to ask the bride where her ceremony would be. The next thing I would’ve done differently is walk around in my new heels. The feeling of my new stiff Target shoes suffocating my feet was not great. The reminder that I hadn’t worn heels for a while kicked in for the rest of the night. So, if you take anything away from this, break in your shoes before you go to any event; you will thank me later.
3. Help the bride stay present.
This was my main priority during the day. I wanted to ensure that no drama or minor inconvenience reached the bride. Yes, it is essential that the bride stays in the loop if a table mysteriously disappears, which did happen, but if the bridesmaid bouquets are not given to the right person, keep that to yourself.
Most of the time, you miss the bigger picture if you get too wrapped up in the little details. At this wedding, I wanted to handle all the little things going wrong so my best friend could focus on this huge new chapter of her life. I wanted her to feel the love surrounding her and her boo on the most important day of their lives.
4. EAT FOOD
This is another very underrated topic during a wedding day. I know the stigma is to not eat until the reception because you want to look good in the bridesmaid dress for pictures, but please eat some food. In this case, we were outside for the ceremony, and not eating or drinking water would result in a fainting bridesmaid. Every ceremony is different and trust me when I tell you that reception food hit the right spot. But at the same time, I wish I had more food in the morning when I was getting ready. It would have prevented me from trying not to let my hungry stomach be heard during the vows.
At the end of the day, whether you forget your bronzer, collapse in your shoes, or some other world ending mistake, it’s important to remember it’s not about *you*. Becoming a bridesmaid is a lot of responsibility, and you definitely have to know what you’re signing up for. Even with all the things I wish I could have told myself that morning, I wouldn’t have traded being a part of that special day for anything.