One thing that has always plagued me is anatomically incorrect female characters. I don’t mind anthropomorphization, but sometimes men just want to make a chicken sexy. Here are my top ten list of most terrifying female characters every drawn. I won’t be including anime characters because that just feels like cheating.
- Bun people from Sausage Party
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This one feels almost like cheating, but yes, Sausage Party certainly does have some sexualized female characters in there. It’s not higher up on the list because it wasn’t marketed towards children, so I don’t take much offense from this. Although, their nightmares of a mouth are not appropriate for any age.
- Nagini concept art
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(Link above is NSFW! It has snake breasts)
The Nagini concept art from Harry Potter haunts me. Sometimes, I think about how someone was told that Wormtail had to milk Nagini, and thought, “Hmm, snakes have breasts, right?” Then, they also decided to have Voldemort drinking from those awkwardly placed human breasts. I’m very glad this art never made it to any official stage, but still, it’s available on the internet. - Giselle from Open Season
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At first glance, Giselle does not seem that badly designed. She has defined eyelashes and eyeliner, sure, but she looks fine. They didn’t decide to give her breasts, unlike some other unlucky characters. However, it becomes very clear that someone working on Open Season also thinks deer are hot.
Deer live in my area, and never once have I seen a deer butt look like that. And I’m certain they knew what they were doing, because there’s videos on YouTube with a couple thousand views, focusing on her butt, with 7-year-olds saying “love butt.” It’s sad that the COPPA will take this away from us. - Gloria from Happy Feet
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When I was about 10 years old and saw Happy Feet for the first time, being an avid bird lover, I was very confused as to why the girl penguins in Happy Feet had breasts. Not really breasts, but they had curves and regular penguins have no curves. They also don’t have pink on their beaks, which I assume was put onto Gloria to mimic lipstick? 10-year-old Megan thought, ‘Penguins wouldn’t even need to wear lipstick, they have beaks?’ 20-year-old Megan now realizes, some animator on Happy Feet was probably wanting to have sex with a penguin.
- Any woman from Mars Needs Moms
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I feel like no one talks about this movie enough, but I remember seeing ads for it all the time on Disney Channel. I remember not wanting to see it because the Martians look terrifying. They don’t have a nose and their movements are so jerky—probably a result of the motion capture. Now, as an adult, I see another reason to be terrified of them. Their waist to hip ratio leads me to believe that they have no organs in there. And who knows? Maybe Martians don’t. Also, somehow, they are able to maintain a thigh gap and abs. Ideal female body type indeed, even if they look like one of those turkey lifter forks.
- Angelina Jolie fish from Shark Tale
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This is where Angelia Jolie Fish comes from. They gave this fish eyeshadow, lips and hips. She’s supposed to be a lion fish, apparently, but she looks nothing like one. I’m very much weirded out by the fact that someone really clearly wanted to make a hot fish, and, furthermore, that they modeled said hot fish off of a real person. Just imagine being Angelina Jolie, and you agree to take on a role. You walk in to record your lines and they decide to show you your character. You’re excited obviously and then, you see a hot fish version of yourself staring back at you. I wouldn’t know what to say.
Of course, everyone in Shark Tale looks a little weird. It was also where Will Smith fish came from.Also, I’d like to share this very not-terrifying plush of the fish that I found while doing this article.
- Goldie from Rock a Doodle
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Another movie I haven’t seen. Rock a Doodle is a story about a rooster, and also somehow involves a boy who is reading a story about the rooster? The Wikipedia page is hard to read. At any rate, the character of Goldie might be the worst offender on this list because she looks like a human with just a beak on her face. Not to mention they even gave her human feet? She really looks like a human woman who just put two pringle chips together in her mouth.
Also, as a side note, the female golden pheasant isn’t the one with golden feathers. Trans Goldie, baby.
- Stella from Balto
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I never knew there were more than one Balto movies. I remember seeing the first as a kid, and being sad that Balto was not a half-wolf half-dog hybrid in real life. He was just a husky. Regardless, there are sequels to Balto; two, in fact. In the third sequel, Balto’s Russian goose companion, Boris, gets a girlfriend. Like most birds on this list, Stella is given breasts, and even a beauty mark. It’s just jarring comparing her to the male Boris who looks like a regular old goose. With eyebrows, granted, but hey, if this was supposed to be realistic they would’ve filmed it with real geese and dogs.
Also, the wiki page for Stella just scares me a little bit.
- Candy Kong from Donkey Kong
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The Candy Kong from the Donkey Kong Country tv show is less heinous to me than the original version. I just don’t like how she looks like a human woman next to Donkey Kong, who looks like an actual gorilla. The fact that you can also see her feet raised her way high up on my ranking.
I also think it’s just a little bit sexist Donkey Kong gets to be naked when Candy Kong doesn’t. Let my girl be free!
- Orangina Giraffe
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Honestly, I could write a top ten list of the worst Orangina commercials. I picked the giraffe solely because of this terrifying advert.
I wonder every day why some advertising executive deciding to sexualize breastfeeding, and, furthermore, why to do it with a giraffe. The Orangina giraffe haunts my dreams. What makes her so terrifying is there is no humanization of her face—she is just a giraffe with high heels and breasts. Also, the fact that she sexually assaults a man is also very terrifying.
All in all, it seems that the female body is subjected to all sorts of terrifying pervasions, with too many within kids media.
What are your thoughts on bad women’s anatomy?