If you want to see a woman convince herself that she’s in love with a man she met less than a week ago, Chris Harrison giving dad talks, a Facetime call with Neil Lane and tears upon tears for literally no reason, then look no further than this episode of The Bachelorette. We’re here to break it all down for you, and how this episode was severely overhyped! Feel free to pause that election coverage and have a good laugh because this is obviously equally important.
How to Lose The Bachelorette in Less Than 10 Days
Jess: We start out with a smooth camera pan over the scorching La Quinta palm trees, setting the ominous tone for the men completely roasting Clare for not giving any of them a rose while Dale opens up a takeout box for breakfast. Truly riveting television.
Next we get a camera pan to Clare writing in her diary, where she says for the first of probably 37 more times this episode that she’s “falling in love with Dale.” She references respecting the process, which she literally hasn’t done this entire time. “What do we do?” Clare asks to the camera twice. We bring in Chris Harrison and then we bring in Queen Tayshia, that’s our only option at this point apparently.
Chris knocks on the door, teenage dad style telling her they need to have “the talk.” Putting in the most effort he ever has on this show, and possibly the most camera time he’s ever had in an episode, as he asserts his dominance immediately by rearranging the furniture in the room.
Chris basically tells Clare to get the f*** out. Those piercing blue eyes grilling her while also trying to approach this therapist-style while trying not to laugh as Clare says she’s in love with Dale only six days after meeting the guy. Clare then goes into how she looked at the guys social media pages, Joe from You style. I mean, same Clare, you’re giving me me-energy when I scroll through Timothee Chalamet or Harry Styles’ insta and am instantly convinced that they’re my soulmates.
“Don’t f*** with me,” Chris continues, which is honestly the energy I wish he channeled this season and also Peter Weber’s season because maybe that would’ve helped that s*** show of a season. Chris ends this little heart-heart with a knowing dad nod and smile, with the ever so comforting, iconic line, “congratulations, you’ve just blown up The Bachelorette” as she continues to sob.
Apparently, the presidential election wasn’t the only historical thing that happened this week.
Rebecca: Chris Harrison asks for honesty while putting Clare in her place. He explains how the men are unhappy and are very smart. Dale’s social media post on Mother’s Day seemed to be Clare’s turning point and when she really connected with him. She also swears on her father’s grave that there was no contact beyond social media stalking (I feel you, Clare. Plus, I totally agree with Jess and her views on Styles and Chalamet.). I believe her. I don’t think Clare would swear on her father’s grave if she wasn’t serious, especially since there’s the letter he wrote for her future husband. I think Clare is just a woman who knew exactly what she wanted. While she didn’t treat the rest of the men right, I can’t fault her for going after something she’s waited a long time for. I’m glad that Chris and the producers caught onto her favoritism early.
Finally, we see the moment advertised for months. Chris said, “congratulations; you’ve just blown up The Bachelorette.” He knows that things need to change, especially since Clare wants to spend all her time and energy on Dale. Honestly, this was a lackluster moment. The commercials overhyped this conversation. I thoroughly respect Clare’s honesty and Chris’ bluntness in this situation. This chat was necessary for Clare, the men she’s decided she doesn’t want and the rest of this season.
Chris Harrison Better Be Paid Overtime for this S***
Jess: “Clarity from Clare” is apparently what the men and literally all of America want from Clare because we’re still not really understanding why she’s instantly in love with this guy, but whatever. Peep contestant Brendan Morias in a blue turtleneck during this scene because that was probably the best part of the episode. Also Bennett with that superman curl, we stan.
Cue, Chris Harrison (again!) really working for that paycheck this season and pulling Dale aside, where viewers really get a feel for how tall this man is as his head almost hits the top of the door and he literally towers over Chris Harrison.
Rebecca: Kenny, Eazy, Zac C. and all of the other men want clarity. Chris alerts the men that there will be no cocktail party or rose ceremony tonight. He also swoops in to steal Dale. Finally, sh*t hit the fan. The men are incredibly confused. Many of the men, especially Kenny, just want to know if Clare will give everyone a chance. Other men are taking their frustrations out on Dale. Honestly, Chris could have handled that conversation better, yet the men still would have blown up.
During Clare’s date with Dale, the men are still discussing things. Blake and others say it’s too early for Clare to know, but I think Clare just knows. I understand their frustration and jealousy. I understand that they want to talk with Clare. I know they want what’s best for her. It’s hard to see the men become more negative.
Clare Crawley or Clare Potter: Bachelorette or Witchcraft and Wizardry?
Jess: The amount of memes I’ve seen about Clare’s Jessica Rabbit inspired dinner look has almost made this whole season worth it. Dale, on the other hand, dawned a more funeral inspired look with an all black outfit.
To be honest, I found this whole dinner date completely cringey. I did not really identify this energy Clare is talking about where her and Dale connect so deeply; I just don’t really see it. I personally don’t really vibe with her intense energy of zeroing on Dale right away rather than getting to know a bunch of the guys. I also don’t vibe with the whole “praying for a man” thing, but maybe that’s just me.
Also, is Clare related to James and Lily Potter? Because that’s all I could think when she said her parents’ names were Lili and James (Side note: Rebecca noticed this before I did, I just realized she wrote that, too!).
However, I did feel for Dale when he told the story about his mom. Anyone who has ever experienced loss can relate to Dale’s story and how it changed his life. I completely get how Clare and Dale can bond over the loss of a parent and how life altering those experiences can be.
Apparently, Clare has a lot of problematic people in her life who tell her to settle, as she tells off those people on camera and says that she’s having dinner with him right now. I will admit, the duet between Chris and Bri from Listen to Your Heart was absolutely beautiful. Good job, on that six week debacle, ABC, because at least we got this extraordinary love song from it.
Rebecca: Finally, Clare gets her one-on-one time with Dale (without disregarding other men on the date). She explains how she’s been doing things her way and how she feels connected to Dale. The honesty and vulnerability from Clare and Dale is outstanding. I’m finally seeing the emotional connection and not just the physical.
After hearing both of their parents’ love stories about how they just knew, now I can finally see how they both just knew. Their confession of love was super sweet, and I loved seeing and hearing Chris and Bri sing again (yes, I watched Listen to Your Heart. I have mixed feelings about it). Of course, Clare and Dale spend the night together, and they finally come to the realization that they don’t know where things will go from here. All Clare knows is that she loves Dale and nothing else will compare.
Also, one side note: Clare’s parents are James and Lili. Hello, Harry Potter (not J.K. Rowling) with different spelling!
Okay, Chris Harrison REALLY Doesn’t Get Paid Enough For This
Jess: The opening shot of Clare’s dog literally passed out on the couch is how I feel about this entire season so far. Like same; we’re exhausted from trying to figure Clare out. Enough, pick that red dress up, burn it so no one ever wears it again just like the Juan Pablo dress, and bring Tayshia in. Let’s go. Also, love how they skipped basically every one-on-one and went straight to the fantasy suite. Speaks to the confusion of this entire season.
Cue, another Chris Harrison dad-talk.
I literally covered my eyes watching this because it was so cringe. Chris was like, “so, how was that fantasy suite?” while Clare literally looks like the sun from how bright she’s glowing. Chris Harrison is like your best friend trying to get the details of how your Hinge date went when he’s like: “Did you tell him you love him?” and Clare is like “Of course I did!” which I found so cringe, AGAIN. Because it’s like if that same friend told you that she told a guy she loved him after the second date.
Clare’s literal standard was, “he didn’t run away,” and Chris just sits there with the absolute fakest smile I’ve ever seen on television. He’s definitely thinking, ‘I don’t get paid enough for this s***.”’
Also, when Clare said, “he’s my person,” did anyone else think of Grey’s Anatomy? Or just me?
Chris is like okay, you’ve accomplished the goal of this show, let’s get a proposal and get out of here, Clare. This will either be another Benoit situation or they’ll be together for the next 60 years. And Chris is like, we’re doing this tonight because we actually have plans for Tayshia to get here after the early-bird special so we need you to pack up everything before you leave.
“This is crazy, this is crazy,” Chris chuckles. Same, Chris. Same
Rebecca: I love seeing Chris so often. He’s really like The Bachelor franchise love guru. He genuinely wants everyone to be happy and find love.
Clare admits that she wants to spend the rest of her life with him, and Chris doesn’t fault her for throwing the process out the window. Chris sees a proposal down the line, and he says it’s planned for tonight. Obviously, that’s a really fast turnaround. I know that Clare knows, but a part of me still feels bad for the rest of the men who aren’t told anything as all of this is happening.
One Direction’s Manager Demands an Apology From Clare
Jess: After flipping back and forth between this show and election results, we still have Clare droning on about how she’s in love with Dale. Also, highly confused and impressed about how Clare can walk effortlessly in six inch heels. I do give her props for that.
The men sit around saying it’s so stupid and, again, SAME. This is so stupid because Clare literally gave no one else a chance. It was totally unfair to the guys and I completely agree with everything boy-band manager Kenny was saying (also points to him if he ever had any connection managing One Direction).
Hearing Bennett speak is how I imagine Jeff Bezos speaks. He just has this Harvard drawl that I started cracking up at it.
Clare literally thinks everything is hard. Like it’s annoying at this point because she could have avoided this whole thing if she followed the format of the show. The guy who went on the forced-therapy date with Clare should definitely be suing for emotional damages.
Clare speaks to how she was “present” and “there” for the guys, but she honestly wasn’t. I totally give Kenny points for letting her know that that was not the case because it was so blatantly obvious and unfair to the guys. Imagine quarantining for weeks on end, getting tons of COVID tests, and then realizing that a process you thought was gonna be a few months gets cut only like eight days into it. I would be mad too.
Luckily, most of the guys were cool with it (including my personal fav Ben) and wished her the best, which made me feel even more bad for them and screaming at my TV, “Where is Tayshia?” because this was heinous. Peep, the breaking of the fourth wall as we see producers hugging and surrounding Clare.
Also, the fact that Blake bought a book on understanding Clare’s moms condition was so adorable and made me feel even WORSE. That was so sweet.
I volunteer as Bachelorette tribute, because this really does seem like a great group of guys.
Rebecca: Clare drops the Dale bomb on all of the men. Watching their faces is hard. Some are blank. Some are disappointed. Some border on anger. Some, like Blake, hope she made the right decision but know she has to follow her gut. Kenny asks the question about if they talked pre-show and asks for a group apology. He wants an apology because he feels that Clare wasted their time and faked every interaction. I agree with him. It was harsh but necessary. I’m glad Clare doesn’t apologize for falling in love, but I think she knows that she needed to acknowledge that she may have wasted their time. I’m glad she’s a strong woman who owns up to her mistakes.
Many of the men applaud her boldness and appreciate her honesty. There are many that are in shock. Honestly, it’s a bag of mixed emotions, and it’s to be expected. Of course, once she leaves, many of the men finally release their anger. Clare is crying because she understands that she’s left many great men behind. All of the men are questioning where things will go from here. And luckily, Jess and I know this.
“If It Wasn’t 2020, I’d Be Like That’s Crazy”
Jess: The minute I saw Chris Harrison on Facetime with Neil Lane I was screaming. Truly iconic, spectacular, never been done before, incredible. This show really has Neil Lane on retainer, and I’m here for it. The producers are really trying to get us to believe that Neil Lane is going to craft a ring in a day and I could not stop laughing.
Chirs really has been doing the most this season, as the height difference between the two is once again emphasized as Chris shows up unannounced and Chris tells Dale to take a seat in Dale’s own suite. Absolute savage.
Again, Chris is definitely thinking, ‘how many more minutes until I can go play golf?’
I love how Chris just escalates in this conversation. He’s like, ‘Clare broke up with all the other guys who she showed literally zero interest in, so now it’s time for you to get engaged and you don’t really have a say in it. Thanks, Dale, she’s waiting for your proposal. Get down on one knee so we can get Tayshia in here.’
“If it wasn’t 2020, I’d be like that’s crazy. But this is all crazy, dude.” Truly the most accurate statement ever said on The Bachelorette, thank you, Joe.
Rebecca: It’s great to see Dale admitting to the cameras and Chris that he loves her and wants to see where things go. Just before Chris goes to chat with Dale, he asks Neil Lane, the resident jeweler, to get ready for a ring.
Dale is extremely happy when he learns Clare broke up with the other men. Chris explains how she will be waiting for a proposal, and of course they cut away to the other men who believe Dale isn’t ready. The episode leaned very heavily into Dale’s nervousness, especially because Clare is scared of pressuring him into things he’s not ready for. Dale rubbed his face so many times. There were so many shots of him thinking. It seems like he was definitely pushed into a proposal, but they can just have a long engagement if they work out.
The Proposal Before Re-Entering Back into 2020
Jess: Right before we see the proposal, we get a glimpse of someone (with an extremely valley girl accent which made me laugh even harder) console Clare. At this point, I felt even more done with Clare. I have never been more done with seeing someone cry on this show, other than possibly Victoria F. from Peter’s season.
I’m not trying to be super hard on Clare, but come on. Begged guys to love her? I don’t find that empowering. I just find it more sad than anything. Maybe that’s harsh, but I just wish Clare had more confidence. To be the kind of woman, the kind of person, who says, “my worth is not determined by whether this man, or any man, or any person, loves me, because I love me.” I wanted to shake her by the shoulders and shout, “Clare, you are the freaking bachelorette! Own it! You’re an incredible woman! Act like it!”
Hence Chris Harrison to the rescue again in therapist mode. I did feel bad that Clare was reminded of her past, but Chris gets paid the big bucks for a reason. He’s the only man who can tell me to trust myself who I will actually listen to.
Clare, nonetheless, looks absolutely stunning in wedding white (fitting for the occasion). Their proposal was still adorable. Despite how much I’m not invested in their relationship, I still felt my heart move when Chris said he was proud of her. For what it’s worth, I hope it works out for them. America may not have understood their love story from the minute it started, but maybe that doesn’t matter. As long as they get it, and they’re happy, I’ll be happy for them too.
“Off on our journey to the rest of our lives,” AKA the rest of 2020: a global pandemic, and an incredibly stressful election. Are you really sure you want to leave, guys?
Rebecca: Clare gets over the hurdle of being afraid, ready to jump into the risk of hoping that Dale is ready. Chris also scares the cr*p out of Clare all to say everyone is proud of her. Seriously? You have to make the woman believe that something is wrong and Dale might not come? A bit extra, Chris and the producers.
It was a romantic final rose ceremony, but it wasn’t any different from other proposals on the show. Well, except that it’s less than three weeks into the process. Considering they’ve been speaking for such a short amount of time, I think their expressions of love were heart-warming. When Dale mentioned how his mother would approve of Clare, that made me melt. Dale gets down on one knee with a beautiful engagement ring.
Overall, I think that Dale is a good guy. I hope he will make Clare happy. They both seem incredibly in love. Until their one-on-one, it was hard to see their relationship develop because the other men were so anti-Dale and the show emphasized their physical connection. Yet, they know they have to put in the work and still have fun.
If you’re interested in knowing the spoilers of where Dale and Clare go after their engagement, there are plenty out there. I just hope they are happy.
Second Chances and Second Roses
Jess: Again, birds chirping as suitcases zipper and the men reflect on quarantining, AKA me on a typical Tuesday trying to process how life has changed since March 13th.
Cue, Chris Harrison, AGAIN? This man is raking in the dough and dropping bombs, telling the men that they’re engaged and have left.
Bennett, in Harvard-logical thinking fashion, couldn’t care less. And honestly, same.
AKA, set the stage for Ms. Tayshia Adams! John Paul Jones, where you at?
Rebecca: All the men think they may be heading home. They don’t know where else they could go from here. Enter Chris Harrison! He apologized for everything and how the men didn’t really get their chance to find love. Chris clarified how she has never spoken to him before the show. He also told them about the proposal and how Clare and Dale left the resort. Finally, he said the other line we’ve been waiting for: “gentlemen … your journey is not over.” Then, he dropped the bomb that they had to decide by later that evening.
It’s a bit comical seeing the men in shock. Yet, I also want to empathize with them because the show blew up in less than 24 hours. Many, such as Bennett and Kenny, are excited for the fresh start. Others, like Blake and Jason, are stuck in their head about Clare.
There are 16 men left. There’s also a concern among the men that Blake and Jason, who invested a lot in Clare, may not be able to seriously shift their emotions. Yet, they arrive. I hope they can honestly let go and invest in what will happen next.
The Bachelorette 2.0
Jess: Chris Harrison starts out by really hyping Tayshia up like she’s Oprah and he’s Gayle: “your new Bachelorette is on her way here right now… This woman is incredible. She is smart, independent, stunningly beautiful, really kind and charismatic, wants to spend time with you guys, wants to get to know you guys, and most importantly she is really in a place in her life where she wants to find love.”
This is truly one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen on this show. But I’m here for it.
Tayshia walked out of the car, and I was screaming. Her skin was glowing, her eyes were bright, her dress sparkling, her hair blowing in the wind. We love to see it, as her and Chris Harrison hug like they’re best friends.
Absolutely immaculate, here for it, and ready to see how Tayshia’s journey goes. Anything will be better than Peter Weber’s season, so I’ll take it.
Rebecca: Hello, Tayshia! Some of the men are holding onto each other out of shock and excitement. I saw that, and it made me hope that Tayshia can find love among these men. The energy in the room shot up. They all love that the playing field is equal and no one knows who she is. There’s no leg-up for any of them.
Tayshia looked like a queen stepping out of that limo! Yes! This is amazing for representation in the franchise (see also: Matt James as the first Black Bachelor who is currently filming). She wants openness and honesty. She feels ready. I hope she’s ready.
Let The Bachelorette begin, again!