Recently, a lot of my classmates from high school have been getting engaged and married. It’s plastered all over my social media. There’s this idea in American culture (and cultures all over the world) that people need to find their soulmate and spend the rest of their life with that person to be happy. I don’t agree with that. I think that happiness relies solely on the person and what they want in life. Marriage can bring strife, financial hardships as well as emotional ones and lots of problems. A lot of people find happiness in their marriages, but that does not mean that marriage is the ultimate answer for every little problem in life.
1. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with one person, and that’s okay.
A lot of people are surprised when I say this, but I don’t want to spent the rest of my life with one person. No one is perfect, no one is flawless, so why would you want to spend the rest of your life with one person? You don’t have to be someone that gets a lot of action to want variety in your relationships. Polyamory is also gaining popularity, and while I don’t like dealing with one relationship, let alone juggling two or more, I can understand the appeal.
2. I like my space
Maybe it makes me a loner, but I like my space. I don’t like having someone in my space all of the time and having to live and interact with someone that I’d be romantically involved with sounds incredibly draining. In the past I haven’t liked it when friends or boyfriends came over more than a few times a week. It’s exhausting, and I like being alone.
3. Divorce is messy
As a child of divorce, I know first hand what a pain divorce is. It can suck the life out of a family, cause incredible tension and make everyone involved miserable. The custody battles and living between two homes is hard on a kid. Imagine what it must be like as the adults in the relationship.
Related: Everything I’d Rather Have by 25 Than an Engagement Ring
4. You don’t need to be married to have kids
Another thing that surprises people frequently is when I say that I don’t want to get married, but I do want to have kids. There are many different options for people who want to become parents, including artificial insemination and adoption or fostering.
5. There are alternatives to getting married
A lot of my dislike of marriage is for the institution itself. Marriage is very old fashioned, it often has religious connotations and it’s just a piece of paper. Marriage doesn’t prove that you love someone. You can have a domestic partnership. Marriage is not the only answer.