Big Boys Don’t Cry…or Do They

Us girls are raised thinking guys rarely cry. When you kicked the neighborhood boy in the shin all those years ago, he shed a tear or two. But besides your similar scenario way back when, nothing comes to mind. And while your mom cried on your first day of kindergarten, your first day of high school, and your first day of college (not to mention your first day of pretty much everything else), your dad just smiled and waved goodbye. Eventually you find out that guys actually aren’t as tough as they seem, and of course you can’t help but find it incredibly adorable.

Picture this: you’re sitting on the sofa watching The Notebook for the fourteenth time, and you send your guy a text saying how much you just LOVE this movie. He responds with a text admitting that when his mom and sister “forced” him to watch it a few months ago, he got a little teary-eyed at the end when Noah and Allie die together. Of course you start swooning, reply with “Awwwwww!!!!!” and think about how sweet and sensitive he must be.

Now, I know this seems like the cutest thing ever at the time, but let’s think about your past few boyfriends. I am sure more than one have admitted to crying whether it was when they watched some movie, lost their states playoff soccer game. As little
girls, we were raised thinking Prince Charming rarely cried and never showed his emotions, so maybe this is why we find it especially endearing when a guy lets us in and shows us a more sensitive side.

That doesn’t mean it can’t get a little awkward.

You decide your boyfriend is more obsessed with his frat brothers than with you, so you decide you two both need a little break. Thinking he will take it pretty well (since he seemed to care less that he saw you only once this past week), you break the news. You expected the slight look of shock, but you didn’t quite expect the sudden waterfall pouring down his face.  But wait, aren’t you the one who is supposed to cry?

Obviously girls are more emotional than guys in general. Your boyfriend doesn’t usually find himself sobbing when Starbucks got his order wrong on the same day he failed his chemistry test. This doesn’t mean we should view guys as emotionless idiots who don’t know what a feeling is.

Guys are afraid of showing their more feminine side (the side who cries, reads Twilight when no one is looking, and secretly wishes he could get a pedicure for his nasty feet). This is because of the same reason we are slightly shocked when he lets a few tears out in front of us. Society sets the standard that if a guy cries, some of his masculinity is lost, while we’re thinking it’s the cutest thing since the Puppy
Bowl.   

So let your guy know that it’s okay for him to share things with you and let some of those top-secret feelings out. You don’t need to flat out say, “It’s okay if you cry in front of me,” because that’s just awkward, and I highly doubt he’ll be revealing any emotions any time soon after that not-so-sly line.