It’s that time of year again, Upper East Siders, where the leaves are falling and the weather gets cooler. Perfect weather to binge an oldie but a goodie: “Gossip Girl.” While rewatching this show, along with TikToks that have appeared on my For You page, I’ve come to the conclusion that Blair and Serena’s friendship is not a healthy one.
Serena and Blair’s friendship is rooted in their shared history and social status. Growing up in the elite circles of New York’s Upper East Side, they have been through numerous life events together, from family dramas to personal crises. This shared background creates a strong bond, but it also sets the stage for competition and envy. Both girls are constantly vying for attention and validation, not just from their peers but also from each other.
Jealousy is a theme in Serena and Blair’s friendship. Blair is often envious of Serena’s effortless charm and popularity, while Serena envies Blair’s ambition and determination. This jealousy fuels much of the conflict between them. For example, Blair’s jealousy over Serena’s natural allure leads her to sabotage Serena’s opportunities, such as when she tries to ruin Serena’s chances with Ivy League colleges.
Similarly, Serena’s jealousy of Blair’s relationships and social standing often results in destructive behavior. Serena’s affair with Blair’s boyfriend, Nate, is a prime example of this. This betrayal not only shatters Blair’s trust but also sets off a chain of retaliatory actions that further strain their friendship.
One of the hallmarks of Serena and Blair’s friendship is their codependency. They rely heavily on each other for emotional support, yet this support often comes with strings attached. For instance, Blair frequently seeks Serena’s approval and validation, while Serena depends on Blair to ground her chaotic life. This mutual dependence can be comforting, but it also leads to emotional manipulation.
Blair, for example, often uses Serena’s past mistakes to control her. In one notable instance, she reveals Serena’s drug addiction and stint in rehab to Ivy League college representatives, sabotaging Serena’s future prospects. This act of betrayal highlights how Blair weaponizes Serena’s vulnerabilities to maintain a sense of superiority. Conversely, Serena has her moments of manipulation, such as when she exposes Blair’s insecurities and failures to others, undermining Blair’s self-esteem.
Betrayal is a constant in Serena and Blair’s relationship. Both characters have repeatedly hurt each other in significant ways, yet they always find a way to reconcile. This cycle of betrayal and forgiveness is indicative of their codependent dynamic. They hurt each other deeply, but they also cannot imagine their lives without one another.
One of the most striking betrayals occurs when Blair tells a room full of Yale alumni that Serena killed someone, a lie that severely damages Serena’s reputation. Despite this, Serena eventually forgives Blair, illustrating the deep, albeit toxic, bond they share. Their ability to forgive each other, despite the severity of their actions, underscores their emotional dependence on one another.
Another aspect of their toxic friendship is how they enable each other’s worst tendencies. Blair and Serena often encourage each other to pursue unhealthy relationships and engage in destructive behavior. For instance, Blair supports Serena’s tumultuous relationship with Dan Humphrey, despite knowing it brings out the worst in both of them. Similarly, Serena encourages Blair’s toxic relationship with Chuck Bass, even though it is clear that their relationship is damaging to Blair.
This mutual enablement extends beyond romantic relationships. Both characters often push each other towards schemes and manipulations that ultimately harm them. Their encouragement of each other’s worst impulses highlights the unhealthy nature of their friendship.
External influences also play a significant role in shaping Serena and Blair’s friendship. The presence of other characters, such as Dan Humphrey, Nate Archibald, and Chuck Bass, often exacerbates the tension between them. These characters serve as catalysts for conflict, bringing underlying issues to the surface.
For example, the arrival of Juliet Sharp in Season 4, who has a vendetta against Serena, tests the strength of Serena and Blair’s friendship. Juliet’s schemes to isolate Serena from her friends and family force Blair to confront her feelings of jealousy and insecurity. This external pressure often brings Serena and Blair closer together, but it also highlights the fragility of their bond.
Despite the toxicity, there are moments of genuine affection and support in Serena and Blair’s friendship. They have helped each other through significant personal crises, such as Blair’s eating disorder and Serena’s struggles with addiction. These moments of support demonstrate that, beneath the manipulation and jealousy, there is a deep-seated love and care for each other. For instance, when Blair faces a pregnancy scare, Serena stands by her side, offering emotional support and protecting her privacy. Similarly, Blair helps Serena navigate her tumultuous relationship with her mother, Lily van der Woodsen, providing a sense of stability and understanding.
Serena and Blair’s friendship in “Gossip Girl” is a complex interplay of love, jealousy, manipulation, and dependence. Their relationship is a vivid portrayal of how deep emotional bonds can become toxic when intertwined with competition and insecurity. While they share moments of genuine affection and support, their friendship is ultimately characterized by a cycle of betrayal and forgiveness, reflecting the codependent nature of their bond. This dynamic makes their friendship both compelling and cautionary, highlighting the fine line between loyalty and toxicity in close relationships