Relationships can be draining, but it can also lift you up and allow you to be a better version of yourself if you’re in a healthy and supportive relationship.
If your relationship doesn’t have some of the qualities from the list, don’t worry! It doesn’t mean you have to break it off with them. Relationships are always a work in progress and these are some things to think about when trying to strengthen your relationship.
1. You don’t feel like you’re holding anything back when you’re with them.
When you first meet someone, there are things you share and things you don’t, and there are things you do and things you don’t. But as you gradually get to know someone better, you get more comfortable with them and those guards will naturally come down. And when you’re in a healthy relationship with someone for a while, you have little things to hold back or hide from them because you know they love you unconditionally and things you normally wouldn’t share with anyone else, they would accept those things as a part of you and appreciate you on a new level.
2. You enjoy time with them, but also enjoy time without them.
At the beginning of a relationship – the honeymoon stage, couples like to spend and enjoy a lot of their time together. And when you’re not with your partner, you can’t stop thinking about them and time seems to pass so slowly. But as time passes, while you still very much enjoy spending time with your significant other, you appreciate spending time alone or with other people. This is perfectly normal and healthy. Enjoying time without your partner doesn’t mean you have to start questioning your love for them. By spending time without your partner, you get to learn more about yourself for personal growth while your partner is going through the same thing as well. And when you two are together, you bring that self-development and reflection into the relationship, which strengthens the relationship.
3. You’re not afraid to say no to them.
Oftentimes when others ask us to do something, we try our best to accept since it’s human nature to want to please other people. But when it comes to your significant other whom you have a deep relationship with, you don’t feel like you have to try as hard to please them. You get to be yourself and do whatever you want and not feel the need to do something just because you think you should. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you know your partner is understanding and not going to be mad at you for not doing something or going somewhere. You are not afraid to say no. And this can apply to a lot of things. In a healthy relationship, you don’t feel like you’re being controlled by your partner and that your actions are mostly done for them, not you.
4. You don’t let emotions get in the way when in an argument/conflict.
When couples get upset, a lot of the time, it is easy to let emotions get in the way and lead to unproductive conversations. Healthy couples know that the best way to handle conflict is to talk it out in a way that is respective and considerate. It is important to look at the argument and situation from the other person’s viewpoint and not just focus on the anger, frustration or sadness you feel. This is not something that people know how to do right away, especially when couples first started dating. This takes time and practice. After several arguments, you kind of get a gist of what works and not work between the two of you and you will be able to improve on communication.
5. You trust your partner and don’t worry when they’re out with friends.
When you’re in a healthy relationship, you trust your partner, know that they love you and that you have nothing to worry about when they are out with friends or other people who you don’t know. No jealousy. This also takes time and is not easy. But once you and your partner establish a deep relationship and understanding, this trust just comes naturally.
Collegiettes, spend this Valentine’s Day to evaluate your relationship and strengthen them! Don’t forget to let your partner know your appreciation for them!