Dear Anxiety,
I can’t believe I’ve mustered up enough courage to actually confront you. I guess I should start with asking, “why?” Why do you make me feel like there are butterflies fluttering around my stomach almost every day? Why do you make me feel like I need to stop what I’m doing all the time to control those dancing monarchs? Why do you make me feel afraid to go out in public? Why?
It has been hard dealing with all these questions with no real answer. I try to make up answers to them but it only makes the feeling worse and harder to deal with. It’s hard going through my everyday life routine with all these unanswered questions. I try to mask the pain and discomfort by making myself busy, but you overpower my busy schedule and I just crash. I lose my focus, I lose my motivation and you show me no way but down.
The hardest part of all is that I don’t know how to explain this feeling you give me to anyone else. I either get accused of being over-dramatic, or just looks of confusion. No one really gets why you make me feel the way I feel, when I feel it. The attempts at masking the pain only make people wonder why I am the way I am. You make it hard.. really hard. But that doesn’t mean I am going to let you win.
This is my battle, and I will not stop until I win. You may have control of my life right now, but I will overcome your power and show everyone around me that I am better than all of this. I can regain my focus, create stronger motivation, and make my way back up to the top. You may have the upper hand now, but don’t get used to it.
I’m only getting stronger.
Sincerely,
Ariana
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