It’s the “aha” moment. That moment when you finally realize you deserve so much more. Maybe he ditched you when he promised to hangout, or maybe you saw him with another girl. Maybe he ignored you at the bar, or simply treated you like a stranger. It’s a tricky moment, especially when your feelings for someone are so deep. Yet, when it hits you…it hits you hard. It sucks when you finally realize the person you wanted for so long turns out to be the exact opposite of what you really needed. Love is messy and can often leave us feeling empty, betrayed, and lonely. When you finally have that “aha” moment, don’t get down! Keep your head up and keep some of these tips in mind….
1.) Distance yourself: If you keep hanging out with him and his friends, chances are you are not going to get over the relationship that easily. It makes no difference whether this guy was a boyfriend or a hook up. At the end of the day, you need to do what is right for you and stop creating situations where it is easy to revert back to old habits. Of course, if you are friends with his friends, things can become a little more complicated. In this case, just try your best to establish yourself as just a friend. If you do it right, he should get the hint pretty quickly.
2.) Mean it: Most likely, this is not the first time you said you were going to stop talking to Mr. So Not Right. Actually stick with it this time! It can be so hard to stop cold turkey, especially if the two of you have a history, but think about it…the “aha” moment is meant to be a wake up call. Let it be.
3.) Keep Good Company: Even if you are not one to show emotions, it is easy to get down on yourself after realizing you are not as important to someone as you thought you were. Surround yourself with friends and family who understand what you are going through and who will support you. Be careful not to choose the “I told you so” friends. That is exactly what we don’t need to hear.
4.) Go Fishin’: Even if you were technically “single”, finally breaking things off with an “on again off again” fling will allow you to meet new guys. It is easy to be blinded to others when your sole focus is on that one guy. But think about it…your mom was right when she said there are plenty of fish in the sea. Why wait for one who you’re never going to catch?
5.) Stand your Ground: Let’s say after a few weeks this guy comes back into the picture…don’t let him! You let him go for a reason. Unless he has really changed (unlikely), don’t waste your time. Now that he knows he doesn’t have you wrapped around his finger, he’s going to want you back. Make him hardcore work for it, girl. You want a guy who knows what he has when he has you. Respect yourself so he (and every other guy) will ultimately respect you.