The truth of the matter is, there is no healthy reason for wanting to maintain a friendship with an ex. It is an excuse to hold on to something that one (or both) of you have decided should be over. Breakups are hard for everyone, whether the dumper or the dumpee, but letting go is the most important part of the process of moving on. How are you supposed get over a guy if he is constantly texting you and trying to hang out? In doing this, it is inevitable that the two of you will fall into a pattern, and you’ll realize that you are right back where you started—without the sex.
No matter how great your friendship seems at first, eventually you will realize that you are no longer the most special person in your ex’s life. And you will get hurt. He ignores your calls? He goes home from the bar with someone else? So what! You’re broken up! No matter how upset you are, if you aren’t dating you don’t technically have any right to be. After all, you’re just his friend. Every so often, something will remind you that you aren’t together anymore, and it will feel like breaking up all over again.
Breakups are never truly mutual. Somebody is always going to be more hurt or have stronger feelings when the relationship ends, and such emotions will carry over into a friendship. If a boy breaks your heart, it’s natural to want to keep him in your life any way you can. The problem with this, though, is that your expectations might outweigh the reality. Trying to win a guy back by being his friend almost always ends in disappointment. If you have any feelings for him at all, it’s better to keep your distance.
By staying friends with a guy who dumped you, you are giving him far more than he deserves. He shouldn’t get to keep you in his life unless he wants all of you. He still gets to turn to you for emotional support while hooking up with other girls? Hell. No. In a lot of these kinds of friendships, the guy tries to keep you around just in case he changes his mind—that way he knows you’ll be there. Don’t give him that satisfaction. Cut the douche bag off cold turkey and move on.
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