A few times a week, we manage to drag our butts out of bed and head over to the gym in hopes of actually fulfilling our annual New Year’s Resolution of getting in shape. But unless you’re one of those people who have somehow managed to get that “exercise high” all the fitness experts are raving about, working out is pretty darn boring. What’s the best way to keep your mind off of that calorie counter? People watching, of course. Below I’ve compiled a list of four different types of gym-goers by their respective outfits. Which one are you?
The Classic: Nike Tops + Shorts
You are actually athletic and committed to staying in shape. You are probably on the treadmill running for an absurdly long time at an absurdly fast pace and make everyone else hate themselves (shout out to my roommate Megan!). Nike gear is for the hardcore badasses that call the gym their second home.
The Diva: Lululemon Tops + Leggings
Your ultimate desire is to have flat abs, a thigh gap, and a firm booty, but spend more time color-coordinating your workout outfit than actually breaking a sweat. You are either on the elliptical watching Netflix or doing yoga in the fitness area. Post workout you can be seen either at Sweetgreen or Pinkberry to reward yourself for all your “hard” work because, hey, you looked damn good doing it!
The Trendsetter: SoulCycle Apparel
You are from California or New York and therefore better than everyone else. You can be found on a bike doing tap backs and push ups that look odd to any bystander, but you don’t care because you’re proud to be a member of what can only be described as a cult and shun everyone that’s not. Unfortunately, nothing compares to an actual Soul Cycle class, so you end up disappointed with your workout.
P.S. To members of other countries and states, Soul Cycle is opening a studio on M Street this spring so pretty soon you can join this “pack/tribe/crew/posse/cult/gang/community”.
The Newbie: T-Shirt + Cotton Leggings
You’re brand new to the gym scene and will not become a regular. You are on the treadmill running like the Nike wearers (see above) except you are completely out of breath and about to collapse. This is because you are trying to lose 5 pounds in 3 days to look good for some big event the upcoming weekend. Your workout is paired with a mild form of dieting, but after said event you resume your normal eating habits of pasta and chocolate.