“Not all men”
Perhaps the most problematic, this weak but infuriating phrase immediately shifts the concern and dialogue at hand from pressing gender issues to men’s feelings. In the time we could have been discussing solutions to rape culture, LGBTQ+ rights, the exploitation of women of color, and other issues that affect systematically oppressed groups, we’re forced to derail the conversation to hear that at least some of their oppressors don’t contribute to toxic behavior and damaging societal norms. Here’s the thing: your individual innocence is not more important than the prevalence of these issues. If you’re one of those men that doesn’t contribute to patriarchal and racist structures, great! It’s not about you, so don’t make it about you. If you’re confident that you’re a decent enough human being to not be sexist, you should then be focusing your energy on helping eliminate patriarchal problems rather than defending a few dudes. (By the way, not being sexist doesn’t make you exceptional. It makes you normal. None of us get medals for this; it’s just how we all should act.)
Source: https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7btT1T9qpQZWhNlK/giphy.gif
“Women are already equal in America”
I don’t know if folks say this because they genuinely believe it or because they want feminists to stop fighting for historically and systematically oppressed groups, but this nonsense really grinds my gears. Recent advancements in gender equality do not negate patriarchal structures and societal norms that continue to perpetuate harmful and disadvantageous trends. Yes, women can vote and run for/hold office, but 1 in 5 of us will still be sexually assaulted during our lifetimes (NSVRC.org). Sure, LGBTQ+ couples can legally marry, but black trans women are still being murdered in 2017. Women can have pursue higher education and have careers, yay! That doesn’t mean that toxic expectations of all genders have suddenly disappeared, that dating and domestic violence have been eliminated, that there is more diversity among CEOs and politicians, that women have bodily autonomy over their own goddamn reproductive organs, that children aren’t sold into sex trafficking, that sex workers are safe from rape, that we don’t have one of the worst parental leave policies in the world despite being one of the greatest political and economic powers. That we didn’t elect a sexual predator as president. All of these are feminist issues. All of these are why people of all genders should be feminists.
Source: https://media.giphy.com/media/xUA7aTghWUR4Y7snxm/giphy.gif
“The wage gap isn’t real”
If you want to scream when someone says this to you, clap your hands. If I have to hear one more time that women only make less money because they are bad at negotiating or because they prefer lower-paying jobs while people conveniently ignore the repercussions of a patriarchal society on women’s employment–don’t forget that women of color are paid even less than white women!–I might transform suddenly and violently into a massive raven and fly screeching into the night. I have argued this point so many times that I barely have the endurance to type out another response, so here are some reliable, credible sources that prove the wage gap:
https://data.oecd.org/earnwage/gender-wage-gap.htm
http://ec.europa.eu/justice/gender-equality/gender-pay-gap/index_en.htm
http://www.aauw.org/research/the-simple-truth-about-the-gender-pay-gap/
Source: https://media.giphy.com/media/b4pPnoO1QDd1C/giphy.gif
“You hate men”
Clearly, y’all still don’t know what feminism is. In fact, feminism is concerned with men’s issues! Men are continually affected and harmed by patriarchal practices and expectations of hyper masculinity and heteronormativity. One in every 71 men is sexually assaulted. Instead of hating men, we prefer to use our energy to find solutions to these issues and dismantle the structures that hurt all of us, regardless of our gender. We’d also rather spend our time supporting people of color, Muslims, the LGBTQ+ community, and other marginalized groups.
Source: https://media.giphy.com/media/6h4z4b3v6XWxO/giphy.gif
“The big issue is that men are more often accused of rape”
No, that is not the big issue. Don’t you dare try to detract from the severity of sexual assault by acting like the real problem is a boy losing his shot at a swimming career. Rape victims are at risk of psychological trauma, PTSD, suicide, STIs, physical injury, and death. Rapists deserve to go to jail. That’s how it is. Yes, falsely accusing someone of rape is a terrible thing, and it can have lifelong repercussions; we understand that. But given the disgusting prevalence of rape in our society and the damage it does, we, as a movement, are more concerned with that at the moment. When you try to detract from the issue, you prove to us that you don’t care about rape victims.
Source: https://media.giphy.com/media/mSNAe0YAKs85G/giphy.gif