When you share with someone that you are bi, there are usually 6 options of questions they know how to respond. Objectively speaking, each of these responses sucks.
1. But you’re not dating a girl? A crazy notion it is to be attracted to two genders but only be dating one, I know. It is hard to fathom us gays may also be monogamous. It is also nearly impossible to fathom that we must not always be dating someone of both genders in order to be truly bisexual.
2. But how can you be sure if you aren’t dating/ haven’t dated a girl? First of all, I had a sex dream about Shego from Kim Possible when I was like 10. I’m pretty sure I’m attracted to females. Shockingly, in the same way a heterosexual man is into a girl, I may also be so. And I know when I am. If you know when you have a crush on a girl, I can too, thank you very much.
3. Are you into any of your friends? If I was into any of my friends, they would, and I mean this in the most dictionary definition version of this word, literally not be called friends. I had my best friend feel the need to reassure me every day that she wasn’t into me, and so when we saw each other change it was platonic. Like no shit, Sherlock. If you really think I consider every girl in my life a sexual being rather than a friend, I’m sliiightly concerned about your view on human nature.
4. Do you want to have a threesome? First of all, what? Second of all, huh? Just because I’m attracted to both genders does not mean I’m attracted to you. Or that I want to participate in a threesome. Do not ask a girl for a threesome just because she is bi. Do not oversexualize her sexual orientation when it is just the same as everyone else. Like, uhh I’m good luv, enjoy.
5. Will you make out with a girl for me? Who let you out of your home? No, I will not. The amount a bi girl has to deal with being oversexualized is absurd. My sexuality, shockingly, should not be one of your kinks.
6. But like, so you’re not actually LGBTQ? I know acronyms can be hard, but this one really ain’t even six whole letters. What does the B stand for? Bisexual! Hence, because I am bisexual, I am a part of the community. Often times, it is hard to feel like it. So when people continuously ask me if I do feel like it, I tend to feel less like it. So don’t ostracize me simply because I am not only attracted to the same sex but also the opposite sex.
Telling someone you are bi is not always a fun time. Either they question the validity of your sexuality, if you even are that sexuality, or they sexualize you. Or they ostracize you from either the straight or gay communities. So yeah, being a bi girl isn’t always as easy as it seems. Not simply the best of both worlds. You may have to anticipate these six reactions.
But, if you aren’t bi and you’re reading this, just try to come up with a seventh, less micro-aggressive way of reacting. Like just saying: “I’m really glad you told me”, “I’m here for you,” “I love you,” “Cool!”, or “Let’s celebrate your coming out”. It could be anything that shows your support. Or even simply shows that you are listening. It would be so utterly refreshing.