Real Talk With Megan: The Dirty F Word

Feminism.  I said it.  Are you uncomfortable yet?

Even at an institution that prides itself on its progressive values, the word “feminist” is still a loaded term (probably most closely followed by “Republican”). Yet if we all continue to shy away from identifying as feminists in attempt to avoid being pigeonholed, the movement will never progress past the ill-conceived stereotypes surrounding the term.  As young women, it is our social responsibility to stop distancing ourselves from the label, hurling it at others in accusation, and rarely pausing to question why so many young women are ashamed to identify as feminists.

So what is feminism, really? In case you are still conjuring up images of militant, bra-burning man haters, here’s a definition I unearthed with the quickest Google search ever:  “the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.”  After reading this definition I’m not sure who wouldn’t identify with this cause… Don Draper? Hugh Hefner?

Why has the word “feminism” become such a loaded label? The answer is simple: over a century of countless misconceptions and negative connotations, which are rooted in a patriarchical society’s reluctance to accept women as full-fledged, equal human beings. This is not to say that all criticism of the movement is unwarranted. Contrary to popular belief, internal critique and debate does not weaken or undermine a cause. Rather, the feminist movement has everything to gain by engaging in constructive debate with its supporters and naysayers. It is 2014, and in order to progress we must accept that feminists come from all walks of life.

I recently had a conversation with a close friend that exemplifies the major problem with the current (mis)perceptions about feminism.  In the midst of a successful Pinterest session, I came across a quote from actress and infamous “hipster-Queen” Zooey Deschanel: “I want to be a feminist and wear a Peter Pan collar. So what?”  Upon reading this I turned to my friend and asked if she considered herself a feminist.  She answered that, no, in fact, she did not identify with the feminist cause.

I was completely taken aback by this response.  My best friend did not believe in the social, economic, and political equality of women?  This was completely unacceptable in my eyes.  After prodding her for more information, she told me that she believed that feminists were too “angry” and “radical.”  Then, most tellingly, she explained that she did not want to be associated with a cause that would make her appear “unattractive.”

Does this sound familiar?  Please allow me to clear up the stale air that we have allowed to build up surrounding the feminist cause. While I am by no means an expert or an academic on the topic, feminism is for the everywoman. From a laywoman’s perspective, then, here are six common misconceptions about feminism and why it is imperative that we all quit accepting and perpetuating them:

1: A woman must choose between femininity and feminism. 

The idea behind feminism is to give women the choice to freely express themselves and not be disadvantaged for doing so. This means that a woman can wear lipstick and Lilly Pullitzer, or suspenders and no makeup. Men do not need to be “manly”, and women don’t need to be “girly.” On the other hand, if they choose to stick to these gender roles, that doesn’t make them any less feminist. Feminism is about placing femininity on an equal playing field with masculinity. For many, feminism conjures images of braless women with hairy armpits and angry scowls. While this wave of feminism is completely valid, the feminist movement should not and cannot be essentialized to this one point of view.

2: Feminism died in the 1960s. 

Nope. Wrong. Women still earn 77 cents to every $1.00 that men earn. Women still cannot drive in Saudi Arabia. Women are still restricted from certain positions in the United States military. These are all problems of inequality that exist today, and as college-aged women, we get a front-seat view to some of the best shows of chauvinism in the world. As President Obama argued in his 2014 State of the Union address, “It’s time to do away with workplace policies that belong in a ‘Mad Men’ episode.”

3: Feminism is for the privileged.

The feminist movement is one that crosses all cultural and economic boundaries. Gender inequality exists in virtually every country in the world and affects the basic rights of those who are privileged and not privileged alike.  The gender oppression that women face today is undoubtedly nuanced by each female’s race, religion, ability, and class. While it is true that many women in third-world countries have bigger fish to fry, the feminist movement cannot be overlooked. Oppression is intersectional and feminism can be the catalyst to bettering the lives of women from all backgrounds. This will only happen if we all can quit tip-toeing around these hot button topics. Here at Grinnell College the “Gender, Women’s, and Sexuality Studies” major is interdisciplinary, for good reason.

4: Feminists hate religion.

It is commonly thought that feminism and the traditional values held by many religious faiths are at odds on issues like birth control, abortion, and sexuality.  Many of the views on gender that we hold today have been inspired by religious doctrine, but it is unclear which is the chicken and which is the egg: religious doctrines mirrored societal values at the time that they were written, and vice versa. Religion and society are so deeply intertwined that any progressive call for equality must come from within both.  If we close the feminist debate to the religiously devout, then we will alienate many of the very women that we seek to support. If society can foster healthier gender roles, then religion will follow suit.

5: Feminists don’t want marriage or children.

The next time I hear someone argue that Michelle Obama is hurting the feminist cause, my brain might explode.  Feminists can be CEOs, and they can be stay-at-home moms. The common thread here is that women are empowered to be their own agents of choice. Whether this means being the POTUS or the First Lady, it does not matter if a woman’s personal career choices align with or stray from existing gender roles.

6: Feminists hate men. 

As college-aged women I’m sure the phrase, “Boys are seriously stupid.  I’m done with dating,” or something along these lines has left our lips at some point in time. It’s easy to write off college-aged men because we all run rampant with the lack of accountability experienced in college. Nevertheless, the vast majority of men are not chauvinistic pigs, and the vast majority of feminists do not hate men. Surprisingly, men can be feminists. And feminists can be straight, gay, bisexual, or entertain any other preference. The goal here is equality, and this is best achieved without hatred.

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