As we approach the end of 2015, we’re all getting our New Year’s Resolutions in order by making vision boards or just simply setting short and long term goals. Overall, we all look to the new year as an exciting fresh start. The “new year new me” idea is a great, but it’s something that takes time, effort, and won’t magically improve from December 31st at 11:59 PM to January 1st at 12:00 AM. In college, a lot of goals are centered around things such as getting rid of the Freshman 15 that carried over into your junior year, improving your style, moving out of a dorm and into your first apartment, or maybe you’re working towards a new job or internship. Those are all great but ultimately what sets the pace for achieving goals like those are to get into the mindset and practice improving ourselves within first. This generation of collegiettes is more creative, ambitious and rebellious than ever before, which means 2016 has so much potential. As we approach the final days of December, let’s reflect on some ways that we can improve ourselves for the new year.
Procrastinating | JUST DO IT. It’s easier said than done, but do you expect to excel in life by lying in bed, partying your life away, or avoiding your responsibilities? Now, this is not to say there’s anything wrong with those activities, but too much of anything is no good. This goes hand in hand with making excuses. Excuses are a normal defense mechanism but it’s not to be overused. Sometimes you have to fess up to something being a direct result of your own actions or mistakes and not make an excuse for it. So remember to leave the excuses behind, put actions behind your words, and make it happen!
High Horse Syndrome | We naturally form opinions or assumptions of others because it’s normal, but it can be controlled. The cliché of “no one is perfect” is constantly stated, but yet we spend our days judging each other and it’s getting old. Focusing on what someone else is doing wrong, compared to what you’re doing right does not necessarily count as bettering yourself. You can’t expect to flourish if you’re all in someone else’s business. Unless it’s directly hurting or affecting you, mind your business. Accept the fact that not everyone is like you, or thinks like you. Having an open mind will open you up to more life connections, and this is ultimately more rewarding than judging. Not everything is right vs. wrong. At the end of the day, how you’re judging the next person may end up being your circumstances down the line. Life has a funny way of making us liars after we say “I’d never”, so leave that snooty disposition in 2015.
HBCU vs PWI | This debate has been long overdrawn. It always becomes a nasty debate about race and who is better than who. The fact of the matter is if you’re black and choose to go to an HBCU or PWI, you are not more or less black due to your decision. Neither one is better than the other, and what we should all do is share the differences in experiences with respect rather than bashing one another as to why either one or the other is better, (refer back to get off your high horse). The bottom line, is we’re all in college! We’re being productive, successful, and prospering. We need to uplift each other instead of tearing each other down. There’s no progress in that.
Hypersensitivity | 2015 has been the year of hypersensitivity, especially online. There are people getting offended left and right based off of opinions on everything;, from appearance preferences to sexual identities, the list goes on forever. A personal favorite word that is a tad bit overused in this hypersensitive category is “cultural appropriation”. This is not to take away from the seriousness of actual cultural appropriation and other real issues at hand, but do not use the vocabulary without knowing exactly what you’re talking about. It’s gotten to a point where people cannot wear clothing items, speak an opinion or express a personal preference without someone getting offending and jumping down their throats. Without knowing the root of what you’re being offended by is actually about, it’s almost like making a mockery of the real problem. The internet is a wonderful place, but it can be cruel and harsh, so if you’re overly sensitive it just may not be the place for you. Everyone is their own person, with their own perspectives and views. Respect that and stop taking everything so personal. Loosen up.
Fear/Complacency | I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the saying “fear is of the devil”, but no matter what you believe in, this can be agreed by anyone. It basically means that fear comes from a place of negativity and we’re not meant to take it on as a natural emotion or experience. Fears have to be let go in order for you to grow. Facing your fears is another cliché, but you cannot expect to grow without getting a little uncomfortable. Your fears can hinder you from so many promotions in life. You could miss out on so much from something as silly as being afraid. So whether it’s something small like shooting your shot with a potential bae, or chasing your biggest dreams no one thinks is attainable, GO FOR IT. You’ll either be successful in obtaining what you sought after, or you’ll learn a lesson from it. Remember, if it’s for you it will always be for you, if not, better is coming. You have to experience failures to become successful, and you’ll never get anything if you don’t try.
Settling | We all have those times we settle for someone or something because it’s cute, comfortable, or we just like it. What you like or want is not always what’s good or meant for you. Know the difference between what you want and what you need. Stop being afraid of saying goodbye. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve, and this goes for friendships, relationships, jobs, or any other circumstance where you are being slighted. Don’t ever become complacent. Cut off anything or anyone that does not contribute to your growth and happiness. Know your worth, or no one will rise to the occasion of treating you what you’re worth.
Disappearing Act | This can be short and sweet because you can read the full write up in “Stop the Disappearing Act 2015”, but just remember that people have emotions. Treat others like actual human beings and not like sexual objects and toys. This trend of being “heartless” is not only lame, but impossible, and bragging about the notches on your belt or people you’ve dissed after sex is absolutely repulsive. Be a decent, and kind person. Check your actions and be honest with your intentions.
Inconsistency | This is a personal pet peeve, but there is most likely no one around who can attest to loving inconsistency. We’re adults and while you don’t have to walk around being predictable, which can sometimes be attributed to being boring, being inconsistent is more about being unreliable. Keep your promises, keep your word, do what you say you’re going to do. No one wants someone around who changes with the weather, it’s beyond frustrating and plain irresponsible. Cut out the fickleness and learn how to be a consistent contributing human being in society.
Flexing | It’s come to a point where it’s not fooling anyone when you ‘flex’. Your internet personas do not match the real you, you flaunt things that you don’t really have. It’s okay to just be you. As lame as that may sound, flexing is what’s actually lame. It is not cool to be what you aren’t. Don’t put on, don’t lie, don’t pretend to be what you are not, or to have what you don’t have. Don’t just tweet how you real you are, actually be real and stay true to you.
Overusing “Friend” | One thing that seems to happen a lot lately is the overuse of the word “friend” or even “best friend”. When you identify someone as your friend, be sure that they are trustworthy, reliable, and sincere. There are many things that can disqualify someone as a true friend and some of them are listed in “The Company You Keep in College”. Calling someone your friend is not something to be taken lightly, and if this person is always in your space you should evaluate the vibes they give off. Energy is transferrable and if you’re getting more negativity than positivity, you might have to do some cutting off or you’ll risk becoming those negative traits. That’s not to say your friend can’t ever be negative or have issues, everyone does. Just remember to weigh the perks vs. cons and know that there are certain boundaries a friend never crosses.
Self Doubt | You’ve got this! Stop doubting yourself. No one is going to believe in you if you don’t. Those who make it to be extremely successful are not always the most talented, or beautiful, but they are the ones who never quit, believe in themselves and their capabilities. Doubting yourself is toxic. Allowing yourself to think you are not good enough, smart enough, or able to do what you set your mind to is dangerous. Believe in yourself wholeheartedly and invest in you!
Negative Nancy Syndrome | There’s an old saying that says, “You never want to be that person that when they see you coming, they go the other way”. The worst person to be is the one who no one wants to really be around. They always having a gloom outlook on life, everything funny is turned into a serious matter, and they’re there for all of the drama but never want to do anything fun. That sad and down in the dumps lifestyle was somehow made “cool” by Tumblr posts, but we are here to tell you it is not okay. Yes, sometime you feel the blues, you are human after all and that’s totally acceptable. It’s okay to not be okay, but if you’re that person who can turn the sunniest of days into a full blown storm, evaluate your personality before 2016, because no one will want to stick around for long. Positivity is not something easy to master, but practice makes perfect. A positive mind breeds a positive life. Why wouldn’t you want to be happy?
You can still work on that 2016 bod, organize your vision board to better yourself, drink more water to improve your skin or teach yourself how to save better in 2016, but don’t forget to work on your inner growth, and leave these very bad habits in 2015.