Meeting someone can be wonderful and is definitely not something you want to take for granted. At first, things can be perfect. But realize that they won’t always be. Once you’ve become so invested in the relationship that you’ve ignored the world around you, it becomes really hard to navigate through the hard times. Here’s a couple of things that may happen when you lose yourself in a relationship.
photo credit: thescienceofrelationships.com
The Relationship Becomes an Image
It’s okay to want you and your significant other to be #couplegoals. But it’s important that the relationship is healthy and meaningful. Otherwise, when you’re unhappy, people will never understand because they’ll think your relationship is always prefect. If you find yourself smiling more at the Instagram photos of you guys then you do your actual significant other, then the relationship may not be as great as you think
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You Forget About Everyone Else
Even if your relationship is serious and leads to marriage, it does not mean you should abandon all your aspirations. Don’t turn down your dream job because it’s two states away and you don’t think long distance will work. Don’t give up hopes of having kids because they say the never want any. Do not drop out of college because his band is moving to LA and you’re afraid he’ll meet someone else. If someone is “the one”, then they’ll always be. And if they love you, they’ll compromise and they won’t make you give up all your dreams.
You Don’t Know How to End It
At this point, you don’t even really know who you are anymore. All you know is that you’re unhappy in the relationship, but you don’t know how to say it. You’ve integrated this person into every aspect of your life, but they haven’t done the same. It’s almost like you can’t even remember a time when you weren’t with them.
How to Avoid This
Make time for people and events outside of your relationship. Continue to explore new things. Choose a person who encourages you to strive for your goals. Make sure the time you spend with this person is meaningful. Evaluate the relationship every 2-3 months and ask yourself why you’re with this person and compare the seriousness of the relationship to your level of being comfortable.
Finding a person that you connect with can feel like magic. It’s something you want to constantly be immersed in. But if you don’t make an effort to still be who you are, your relationship can quickly become toxic. The first step to showing someone how to love you is loving yourself.