Look I LOVE my roommates. They have made my university experience so amazing. All of them will remain to be lifelong friends, but lets not pretend like they don’t do a million things to bother you. That’s normal when you live with people who have grown up with different morals and values. But there are some lines that should probably not be crossed, and if something is making you uncomfortable it needs to be addressed. Especially when they are done by someone who doesn’t live in your home, but is rather associated with a roommate. Here are 7 possible signs that your roommates significant other is too comfortable in your home.
1. He no longer knocks.
If your roommate’s significant other feels so comfortable in your home that he just lets himself in, it is a problematic sign. No knocking, and no waiting for anyone to let him in, instead he just waltzes in as if he lives there. Unless your housemates have agreed upon this being an okay rule, there should be no reason for this to happen. None of my friends walk in without permission, so why should any of my roommate’s partners feel as though they can do the same?
2. He spends countless hours at your house without your roommate.
If your roommate’s s/o is lounging around your home without your roommate, well then why are they there? This is a sign that they feel as if they live there, and unless there’s circumstantial reason, it shouldn’t be happening. Not to mention, if your roommate is out trying to be an independent woman while he waits around for her in her dark bedroom. Clingy and maybe a little bit creepy. There might be more than a ‘too comfortable’ issue here… Either way, time to go.
3. He answers questions regarding plans as if he is included in them.
You ask your roommate what her plans are for the day because you want to see if she’s going to be around for a gym session later and he answers as if he is invited to girl time at the gym. Thanks, but no I don’t want to workout with you. I want to go to the gym with my friend and do the cool partner workout we just watched on YouTube.
4. He parks in your driveway.
Every house is different, but at mine this is a no go. If he is comfortable enough to take up a spot in your driveway that belongs to your roommate, this man thinks he is a roommate. Especially problematic if he didn’t have the courtesy to leave his key out so his car could be moved. Now you have to awkwardly knock on your roommate’s door as your rushing to get to your 8:30am class as if that wasn’t hard enough. Then you ask for the key and watch him uncomfortably stumble around fresh out of bed in a failed attempt to find his car keys. Time to tell him to park on the road and if he doesn’t get the hint then, maybe a kind tip to the Guelph parking operations would help him get the hint that he might be over too often.
5. His toiletry bag is in your bathroom.
He really put his toiletry bag in your bathroom… I mean come on, a toothbrush MAYBE but a toiletry bag?! What man has enough hygienic things that he needs a bag to carry them in for one night. This man has no intention to leave, he even brought his trimmer. You choose to live with your friend, not her boyfriend. So it’s time to tell her that his toiletry bag should never make an appearance in your bathroom, sure blame it on space.
6. He buys groceries for your house.
He actually thinks he is going to be over here frequently enough that he has to feed himself. Yet, he blames it on the fact that all his food is going bad at his house. HELLO, maybe you should be there then, eating the food you bought, in the home you paid for. As my 1 year old niece would say “buh bye.” Get ready because this next one is wild.
7. His mother comes over.
Let me repeat that for you, his mother comes over… to your house. She comes into your house before she takes your roommate and her significant other to brunch. My own parents don’t even walk into my house let alone my boyfriend’s mother?! My own boyfriend doesn’t even walk into my house, so this is a real problem.
If you experience any of these signs, talk to your roommate before it becomes an issue. Hopefully she is receptive, regardless of whether or not you are friends. In signing a lease you aren’t only agreeing to live with someone, you are agreeing to respect boundaries as well. So make sure you aren’t pointing fingers, but politely express that you miss her, and that you just want to walk around naked again.