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Wellness

On Being Okay with Being Alone

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Guelph chapter.

Lately, I’ve been wanting to spend a little more time alone. Part of it is the need to just get some work done, but I’ve also realized that sometimes, you need a bit of a break from things. I know, in the world today we’re constantly surrounded by people, whether that be in real life or with social media. I feel like I’ve learned a few important things about accepting being alone at moments in time.  

 

Being alone gives you a lot of time for self-reflection. And sometimes, that can be pretty scary. When we’re alone, all the things we don’t want to think about come back into our minds. I think an important thing about that is once it does come into your mind, you have the chance to tell yourself that, while you may have done something wrong or embarrassing, the moment has passed, and you can improve upon yourself.  After all, each day is a new start to do something different and become a better version of yourself. If anything, this kind of self-reflection can prevent any future second-hand embarrassment when thinking about certain moments. But I have found this very beneficial in looking at my own feelings and realizing what I need, whether big or small. And I’ve been writing about these feelings too, both very explicitly and implicitly through poetry. Self-reflection can extend us in so many ways, and it’s such an important part of life.  

 

When you’re alone, you’re also not chained to any commitments with others. In this, there is so much choice regarding what to do. Now, for some people this is hard (and by some people I mean me, I’m basically a real-life version of Chidi in The Good Place). I always have so many ideas of what I want to do, where I want to go. Despite this, once you’re in a spot you’re free to do whatever you want-grab a snack, work on a project, sit and look out the window even. I’m getting better at these decisions, but I feel like I have so much control over what I can do sometimes, and I want to embrace that. It seems like there’s so little we can control in life, so you need to take the chance when you have it.  

 

The thing about being alone is that you can be a lot more independent. We like to surround ourselves with people so we can feel accepted and loved, and sometimes we want to fill some sort of hole that’s been left. But I think one thing I’m learning now is that sometimes you need to be alone. If you can’t be alone, it could be a sign that you’re not completely at peace with yourself. Now this isn’t the case for everyone-sometimes people are just more social or have a close group of friends. However, I think it’s important to realize that you can separate yourself from friends or people every once in a while. It can be exhausting, and you need to understand who you really are if you want to enter into healthy relationships.  

 

There’s so much to love in this world and being alone has helped me learn to appreciate that. Sometimes, I’ll catch myself looking out the window thinking wow, isn’t nature just a sight to behold? And I think that when we are alone and come back to our people, we realize just how special they are. Especially in a time like ours, when people are so divided and everything feels kind of toxic, it is amazing to take this time and appreciate what life has to offer.  

 

One important thing to remember is you are not alone in being alone. People study, eat, go to class all the time by themselves. It’s a fact of life that we are not always going to be surrounded by people. And once you see this, you start to understand that sometimes, it is even necessary to take a little time for yourself. Call it what you want-self-care, me time, solitude-learning to accept time alone is just one of the things in life that makes a world of a difference.  

Emma Biffi is a first year student at the University of Guelph, studying international development. She is a professional ray of sunshine, and a lover of all things groovy and glittery. You are likely to find her somewhere on campus, drinking coffee and ranting about politics and world issues. Someday, Emma wants to work in foreign affairs.
Guelph Contributor Account for writers at the University of Guelph!