Growing up in our household means that you learn how to give motivational speeches. In fact, you become a pro at it. Every time your mom feels down, you whip out your pep talk skills and give a killer speech about perseverance, resilience, and patience.
Not only that, but your siblings hype you up too. You ask yourself why. Is it because they are so desperate to hear these things too? Is it because they want to create a sense of legitimacy to what you’re saying in hopes that if all of you pretend that what you’re saying is true then you can trick your mom into believing in it? You just want her to feel better. Actually, you want to empower her, not just make her feel better. Empowerment is what she needs when she’s broken, helpless, and well, lacking power.
You learn how to hype your siblings up when they find themselves giving your mom the speech that has now become semi-weekly to lift her spirits up.
I actually remember this one night in particular, when my mom was just broken. I don’t remember what the essence of the conversation was, but what I do remember was how strange it felt to be the mom for a brief second. My mom felt like my daughter who needed me to comfort her after a heart break. All of the sudden I felt like the wise one. The one whose wisdom is like a de-magnifying glass, when looked through at something, it makes the thing seem so small and insignificant. The roles reversed for a bit, which in an unstable household isn’t too uncommon. Children become parents and parents become children. Not only in that parents indulge in childish bickering while the kids try to defuse tense situations, but in that kids are there for their parents when they’re deeply hurt. Kids lose innocence as they learn about the dark intricacies of adulthood and the complexities of marital life.